


The Resigned Beta

by anarchycox



Series: Merlin A/B/O Trilogy [3]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Angst, Antagonistic Relationship, BAMF Eggsy, BAMF Roxy, Beta Merlin, Eggsy as Arthur, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OOC, Omega Eggsy Unwin, One Night Stands, Pining, Protective Merlin, Slow Burn, Violence, eggsy is an angerball, friends to enemies to friends to true love, learning the job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-01-07 19:28:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12239214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Eggsy has saved the day. It's brilliant being a hero - if by brilliant you mean exhausting and horrible and he wants to sleep for days and not be haunted by how many died. Only he isn't going to have time for that break. Because Merlin has kindly informed him, since he killed Arthur, Eggsy now has to take up that mantle. A job no omega has had before, a job he isn't prepared for.So now, he has to rule a secret spy organization, while the world attempts to fix itself, and is receiving courting offers from everyone under the sun.He doesn't want a mate, he just wants to survive.And if he has to suffer the job of Arthur, then Merlin can damn well be by his side and help him do this, no matter that it isn't what the beta wants.But the truth is, Eggsy has no idea what Merlin wants, and Merlin would prefer he never find out.Only, Merlin seldom gets his way.





	1. Chapter 1

“I don’t get it,” Eggsy said.

“What is to get, Arthur?” Merlin asked.

“That!” Eggsy flailed an arm about. “That, why are you calling me Arthur?” They were on the plane for home and Eggsy was starting to come down from the adrenaline. Roxy had stepped onto the plane, stripped down and immediately fallen asleep. Eggsy wished he could but he was just too wired and feeling too many things. And then the second he had stepped on the plane Merlin, fucking Merlin had bowed to him and said,  _ Arthur _ .

“You are Arthur, Eggsy,” Merlin explained. The plane was on autopilot but he was keeping an eye. He stood at attention in front of Eggsy.

“Stop that,” Eggsy said. “Stop all that. It’s some sick joke and I don’t like it.” He could feel his scent rising, not hidden by the soap he used, not with all the blood and sweat wearing it away.

Merlin didn’t react at all, and Eggsy figured the alpha had to use neutralizers for work. But Merlin was standing like Eggsy was his CO and he couldn’t cope with that disconnect. “Merlin, please…”

“Eggsy there are three circumstances planned for Arthur’s death. Two of which have me being the interim Arthur until has a vote happening.”

“Okay, fine yeah, that makes sense - you be Arthur,” Eggsy said quickly.

Merlin held up a hand. “The third is if an agent is forced to kill Arthur, then that agent immediately and without argument becomes Arthur.”

“Ha!” Eggsy shouted. Roxy stirred on the couch and Eggsy lowered his voice. “Ha, see right there, problem. Not an actual agent, Roxy is Lancelot, but I actually ain’t shit, guv. So you can’t make me Arthur. You take the job and then everyone will vote.”

“Code 3.487 states that if an agent dies in the field and we are in a world ending situation, if there was a recent candidacy trials, the person who came in second will assume the mantel of the deceased agent. You became Galahad the second you put on that suit, Eggsy.”

“But that were after I killed Arthur,” Eggsy was begging. “Please, Merlin I can’t do this. You can’t put me in charge.”

“I didn’t. You did,” Merlin said. His voice only held the barest trace of sympathy.

“If you deny the post, ye will be shunned from the table, stripped of any part of the Kingsman and your memory wiped of everything.”

“You can’t take Harry away from me!” Eggsy’s voice went loud again and woke Roxy up.

She yawned, “What’s going on?” She sat up.

“Eggsy has a choice before him, Lancelot,” Merlin said, back still incredibly stiff. “And it is a difficult one.”

“Eggsy?” Roxy looked between the two men confused. She grew more confused as she properly woke up and sniffed the air. “Eggsy, you....you’re an omega.”

“No shit,” Eggsy said. He was staring at Merlin and watched the man blink in surprise. “Bet there are rules against an omega being in charge, right?” He was sure he had found the way around it.

“Nae,” Merlin said. “It never came up, an omega hasn’t sat at the table before, but they so couldn’t fathom it that they never wrote charters against it. Ye lied on your intake forms,” Merlin pointed out.

“Nope, under designation I wrote none of your fucking business, sniff me if you got a problem with it. Not my fault you mistook that as beta.” Eggsy smirked a little. “Figured you put it all together awhile ago, you’re Merlin ain’t you?”

“I am. I am also a legally scent dead beta,” Merlin said calmly and didn’t react when both of them flinched. “It makes me an effective quartermaster.”

“Merlin,” Roxy’s voice was full of sympathy and Eggsy just stared at him.

Merlin’s posture had to hurt it was so straight. “Eggsy ye have until we land to make your choice.” He went to the cockpit, wanting to be away from the pups while they discussed what an abomination he was.

He sat and stared at the sky until he could see England just in the distance. He took over the controls. It was just starting to grow dark. He always loved the dusk. And in the air it was even more beautiful. Merlin felt Eggsy join him but didn’t look over.

“Merlin -” Eggsy said.

“If it is about me, shall we just skip it?” Merlin asked.

“Sure,” Eggsy said. He was quiet for a bit. “Are those my choices? Become the boss to a secret spy organization while the world is completely fucked up, a job I am not qualified for and am terrified of, or we get home and you wipe 10 months of memory away. You wipe Harry and Roxy away.”

“Aye, those are the choices.”

“I fucking hate you,” Eggsy said.

“I can endure that.”

“Cold bastard,” Eggsy clearly wanted to fight, to hurt something, and Merlin would not feed into that. “I can’t do this alone.”

“I never said ye would be alone,” Merlin replied.

“Wot?”

“You will not just be thrown into the job. You can elect a second. Someone to guide you through the job. Code name Fisher King.”

“Long code name,” Eggsy said.

“Tis why it isn’t used generally for the table. It is a position of guardianship really. You can talk to each agent when they return, see who would suit.” Merlin started their descent. 

“You,” Eggsy said firmly.

“I beg your pardon?” Merlin was stunned.

“You are the one fucking me over, so I’m taking you down with me.” Eggsy’s grin was feral, his scent bitter. He expected Merlin to react to it, before he remembered that Merlin wouldn't - that he couldn't. “I hereby accept the role of Arthur, and you will be my trainer, my Fisher King.”

Merlin tightened his grip on the controls and his jaw clenched. “I serve at the pleasure of the king,” he said finally.

“Doubt anything about this is going to be pleasurable,” Eggsy muttered. He was worn down, finally beaten by circumstances too big for him to have handled alone. “Wish it was Harry beside me instead of you.”

Merlin felt his throat catch at that. “I wish Harry was here as well, Arthur.”

Eggsy went back to Roxy without another word and Merlin carefully landed the plane at the estate and shrugged off any emotions that tried to come up.

There was work to be done.


	2. Chapter 2

Eggsy looked at the chair. He put his hands behind his back and stood at attention so that Merlin wouldn't see how he was shaking. They had landed, showered and had a brief nap and it turned out that Roxy had cracked some ribs on her descent and hadn't noticed in all the adrenaline. She was stuck in medical for the next couple of days. And now Merlin was telling him he had to sit in the king's chair and address all the agents. He hadn't even seen his mum or Daisy yet. "I need to know they are okay, then we can do this," he said.

"You do know they are fine," Merlin countered. "I know ye called home. Your mother is shaken but she and your sister, due to Roxy live and are uninjured. They have food and know well enough to nae leave the flat until you arrive. They are not your concern."

"They're my family! How are they not my concern?" Eggsy shouted at him. "They are my only fucking concern right now."

Merlin glared at him. "Did none of the training sink in? Did Harry's death not make you understand this job?"

"Fuck you, bruv," Eggsy said. "I know what Harry's death was - a fucking set up. You have no idea what watching that did to me."

Merlin slammed down his clipboard on the table. "Aye, ye are right. I have no idea what it did to you. You have known him for 9 months? And saw him a dozen times at most. Yes certainly it is you who have suffered the most here."

"Wot you mean you? Like you feel anything," Eggsy sneered. 

Merlin froze and Eggsy's scent changed from aggressive to submissive in a second. That look on Merlin's face, Eggsy hadn't see that much fury even ever on Dean. He didn't know that someone could look that pissed off, especially when there was zero scent coming off the man. He was more scared in that moment than any in Valentine's bunker. Merlin didn't do anything though. He simply pulled out the king's chair. "Arthur, ye need to address the Kingsman now."

Eggsy sat down and tapped his glasses. 

Merlin did the same. "Gentlemen," he said stiffly. "We have a new Arthur." He quickly ran down all the events that happened.

Eggsy stared at all the men at the table. Some were more worse than wear than others. He could see some blood and slings and just...everyone was hurting in one way or the other. He kept staring and didn't know what to do. Merlin kicked his chair. 

"Right. Any of you, have even the tiniest objection to this, I'll happily step aside," Eggsy said quickly. "Even one tiny complaint, and I'm out until there is a vote." 

No one raised a single complaint. Harry was the only Kingsman who ever broke the rules. And his chair was empty.

Eggsy bit his lip. "I don't know what to do," he said. "I'm sorry. I..."

"Arthur," Merlin said. "You just fought a fierce battle, just as all our men clearly have."

Eggsy looked at them. He wondered how many had been out in the world wanting to help, and couldn't escape the signal. They were so trained. How much blood was on all their hands?

"Come home," he said. "All of you, come home for a rest. We need to put ourselves together a bit more before we get the world there. And if I'm in charge, I should meet you all yeah?" It was a hollow smile he gave them. "And you should meet me." All the Kingsman nodded and then were gone. Eggsy took his glasses off and lay his head on the table. "Fuck me," he sighed.

"No," Merlin said shortly. "But if you are in need of services, I will check on the comfort house that the Kingsman frequent. If they weren't too badly damaged I can set up an appointment for you. Though I had rather thought that you would be checking on your family now."

"We have a whorehouse? How is that gentlemanly?" Eggsy asked.

"It is a legal profession, and it was best to have one place that passed all security clearances," Merlin answered easily. "Would you like to know who Harry fucked when he went there? I am sure if they are still alive I can arrange an appointment for you." 

Eggsy looked at Merlin but the man's face revealed nothing. "No, I don't need an appointment," Eggsy said.

"Very well." Merlin tapped on his clipboard a little bit. "Now then I have to deal with the dead bodies, our staff who perished in the madness. Run along to your mum." Merlin began to walk away.

Eggsy hadn't even thought of it. When they came in, the medical team all seemed fine, but he had heard the doctor say, room 1 was full, to take Roxy to room 2. "How many?" Eggsy asked.

"Medical was too busy keeping the hurt ones alive to do a proper count. They would start once everyone is stable, but these are my people." Merlin looked off in the distance and for a moment his mask slipped and Eggsy saw the man was hurting. But then his stoic face was back on. "I need to get supplies, it has been several hours, this will be an unpleasant business."

"Let me help," Eggsy said impulsively. "Mum can wait another hour or two."

Merlin gave him a cold smile. "No, Arthur. This task is beneath ye, better left to someone who doesn't feel anything."

"I'm sorry," Eggsy said. "You have to understand, Harry's death and then everything that happened -"

"You do not speak to me about Harry, ever again Arthur," Merlin said. "Because if you do, I will be forced to kill you, and I do not feel like training another Arthur. You'll be perfect for the job ye know. Already have the right amount of selfish and self involved asshole down pat."

Eggsy stared at him in shock. "Merlin."

"Fisher King is my title now, remember?" Merlin gave a bow. "I need to attend to my dead. With your leave."

"Just tell me who he was to you," Eggsy said. "Because come on, he was just an agent to you, you are just trying to make me feel like shit in revenge for me making you my bitch."

Merlin didn't respond to that. "With your leave," he repeated.

"Fine, go." Eggsy said.

Merlin stalked away and Eggsy sat at the table in silence. He hit the table and was surprised when a keyboard came up and the big screen blinked on. It asked for his code name and he typed in Arthur. A fingerprint pad came up and he pressed it sure the system would lock him out. But Merlin already had him inputted as Arthur.

He immediately went to Harry's files. He looked at the picture of Harry and felt split in two again. Fuck Merlin for suggesting that he didn't have a right to be gutted by it. Harry had believed in him. Harry was his, not Merlin's.

Eggsy read a little skimming the files until he saw one labeled family.

He opened it curious, ready to later go and offer his sympathies to any kin of Harry's.

Father deceased.

Mother deceased.

Step-Mother, in a nursing home for alzheimers.

Step-brother. Hamish Shaw living. There was no address listed. He clicked on the spot for the photo.

And Merlin's picture came up.

Eggsy made it to the rubbish bin before he was sick. 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Merlin sat on the roof of the building. He was pretty sure no one would bother him there. No one who was currently there knew it was where he went when it was bad. He wasn't sure if anyone was left alive who knew he went there. He nudged a brick on a chimney and the pack of Harry's cigarettes fell out, along with a flask. He lit one and sucked the smoke in. He hated them, but it felt right in that moment.

11.

11 of his people dead, by each other's hands as the signal sent them spare. One person in medical had realized something was wrong and hit the lock down button, and that stopped the number from being double or triple that. But more injured themselves trying to break out of their locked spaces. 1 killed themselves in the rage spell.

He had personally hired seven of the dead. Merlin took another drag and coughed. He chased it with a sip of the flask. "Harry," he whispered to himself. He didn't cry, he wouldn't let himself cry. If he did he would go to his flat and not return. He would just disappear. And that would disappoint Harry too much. Disappointing Harry was something Merlin hated to do. Didn't matter that the man was dead now, he couldn't disappoint the person who handed him a stuffed bear and said, "we can share him." He had been 9 and Harry barely 7.

Merlin crushed the cigarette beneath his shoe as he saw the plane coming in. The first of the agents was returning, there was more work to do. He put everything back and went to the ladder and back into the estate. He would do it for Harry, because personally he didn't give a fuck about the world anymore.

*******************************

"Fisher King, please say I can take a break," Eggsy begged. "I can't see another broken man."

"There is one left, and then you are done for the day," Merlin said. "Percival."

"Five minutes," Eggsy pleaded. "Please."

"These men went through what Harry did in the church, they lost everything that defines a Kingsman and ye need a break?" Merlin sneered a little. "Of course."

"You bastard, I went from training, right into killing dozens. We destroyed most of the world's leaders, and I am trying to grapple with that and if I, Arthur, say I need five minutes to be able to treat Percival with dignity and respect, then you will fucking arrange it."

Merlin nodded. "Of course, Arthur," he said and left the room.

Eggsy pressed his palms into his eyes and wished for a second to gouge them out. He felt completely lost and hurting. Alpha after alpha coming into the room, smelling bitter and hurt and scared. His instincts screamed at him to comfort them, and he had to hold himself back from barring his neck to them, to letting them use him. Because if he did, he would never be Arthur, he'd be their pet. And he was no one's pet, not ever. He tried to get his own scent under control again and took a hit from the flask he had found in the desk. He was pretty sure every desk in the estate had a flask. Kingsman were high functioning alcoholics it seemed. He understood those sorts.

He took a few slow and deep breaths. He got through this he could go see his mum and Daisy. He had called in between meetings and Mum had sworn they were fine. He said he was doing clean up but could come, and she said no that was more important. He cried when she held the phone up so he could hear Daisy's babbling. Eggsy got up and opened the door, ready to talk to the one other agent he had at least met before all this fell down.

It must have not been the five minutes yet, because no way would Merlin let Eggsy see him this vulnerable. The two men were hugging, a desperate clinging thing. Percival had a hand around the back of Merlin's head, Merlin was gripping the agent's back and they had noses buried in each other's necks. Not that that was really relevant to Merlin his being scent dead. "Gentleman," Eggsy said. Merlin would have sprung away but Percival held him tight and whispered something to him. Eggsy stilled at the bark of laughter that came out of Merlin. But he was used to these sorts making fun of him. He glared, they didn't get to do that, not to Arthur. "Percival, we need to discuss things." He walked back into his office and had no idea what he would do if the man didn't follow. But he did and closed the door, leaving Merlin outside.

"Sir," Percival said and gave a small bow. "Thank you," he said.

"Thank you?" That was new, none of the other interviews started like that.

"Roxy," he replied. "She stayed safe, and for that you have my eternal gratitude."

"She's a brilliant agent," Eggsy said.

"She will be, with seasoning," Percival agreed. He stayed at attention.

"Sit," Eggsy said. He watched Percival sit. "Injuries?" The man looked the best, the most composed of all the ones that had been through. He sniffed the air and just couldn't tell. Merlin had said Eggsy was the first omega, so Percival was beta or alpha. He was either using scent blockers, or had himself that under control.

"Alpha," Percival said, catching the way Eggsy tried to tell. "Medically nulled. A sniper leaving scent in his wake is a bad idea."

"That why you look better than the rest?" 

"I was on a roof in Prague," Percival said. "Alone." He swallowed. "I had 30 bullets on me." 

Eggsy looked at him. "How many?" he asked quietly.

"I had 30 bullets on me," Percival repeated and Eggsy understood.

"Counselling," Eggsy said. "All agents need to go to counselling."

Percival nodded. "Of course," he agreed.

Eggsy stared at him. "You are acting different than the rest. Is it because you weren't in the thick of it?"

"No," Percival shook his head. "It is because my grief is not for your witness, for your pleasure. I don't want you to make me better. I don't want anything from you. I didn't vote against you becoming Arthur because Roxy trusts you, but that doesn't mean I feel like answering to you. I will go about my business and follow orders and whatever I need I will get from Merlin."

Eggsy felt his hackles rise. "The Fisher King is not yours."

"Our private hours are just that."

"Are you lovers?"

Percival stood up. "Good day, Arthur, I will attend to my niece now."

Eggsy stood up as well. "Send the Fisher King in as you leave."

Percival nodded and went to the door and stopped. "Tell me, Arthur, who are you?"

"I..." Eggsy felt taken apart. One fucking question and he felt exposed. "I am your king," he managed to say.

"We shall see," Percival said and opened the door. Eggsy could see the men whisper again and Merlin came into the office.

"Sir, that is your last interview," Merlin began.

"Are you two shagging?" Eggsy asked. 

"No," Merlin replied.

"Why wouldn't he just say that then?"

"Because the man he had been shagging died in the alps and he brought in his niece to the man's position and it causes him some pain."

"Oh," Eggsy said.

"Indeed."

"Like the pain you are feeling over Harry?" Eggsy asked.

"They are different sorts of pain."

"Lovers versus brothers," Eggsy said. "I read Harry's files." He bit his lip. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"No, ye didn't," Merlin replied. He looked at his clipboard. "My staff has been cut by a third. And my best guess is that the earliest an agent will be field ready is a month. What do you guess?"

Eggsy thought about all the meetings he had. "Percival seems fine."

"He isn't," Merlin said. He sat down. "Permission to speak freely?"

"Wot the fuck have you been doing since we got on the fucking plane?" Eggsy asked. "That wasn't speaking freely?"

"Percival will not trust you or listen to you until you have proven yourself." Merlin looked at him. "And bottom line, the other agents right now are numb or intrigued by an omega being in charge of them. But when their brains clear, they will look to him. And if he finds ye lacking, they all will. And he will find you lacking."

"I told you not to give me this job. Of course I am lacking!" Eggsy shouted. "You think I didn't see you two laughing? You think I don't know I am nothing? That's the one thing I do know in all this. I know I am a disappoint to you, to Harry, to all these people now looking at me to lead. I'm not a fucking leader, I'm not ready. And it's not like you are going to actually do your job and help me."

Merlin tilted his head a bit. "Come along," he said and left the room.

Eggsy wanted to not follow on principle, but somehow his feet weren't listening to his brain and he found himself moving. They were silent and tense on the bullet train and when they emerged in London, Eggsy had to fight a whimper. His scent broke and just put out waves of anguish. A man walking by choked on it. Merlin just walked them through London, stepping over bodies like it were nothing, ignoring smashed windows, the cries and screams that reverberated through the city.

And then they were at Harry's door. Merlin let himself in and went up to Harry's office. He rested his hands on Harry's desk and bowed his head.

Eggsy watched Merlin and bit back tears and being back in this room, thinking of that last conversation he had with Harry.

"The house is yours," Merlin said, breaking the tense silence.

"But -" 

"I cannae be here," Merlin couldn't look at Eggsy. "Move your mother and Daisy in, keep it the same, take it all down, I don't care." Merlin straightened. "Rest."

"That's it?" Eggsy looked at him. "I tell you I can't do this, and you tell me to sleep? What the fuck good are you?" 

"Not very much," Merlin said. "I couldn't keep my brother alive."

"Merlin," Eggsy stepped forward and stopped when Merlin snarled.

"Rest," Merlin repeated. "Rest and be ready to lead."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that," Merlin replied.

"Why? Why should I? Why shouldn't I walk away?" Eggsy tried his damnedest not to let his eyes fill. "Why should I give the Kingsman more than it has already got?"

"For the same reason I am - because we won't live as disappointments to him." Merlin touched the desk one more time and left the house.

Eggsy went down the hall to Harry's bedroom. The man's robe was draped over a chair. He picked it up and hugged it as he lay down and cried himself to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look this is a bit of a gross chapter as it deals with clean up in the aftermath of V-day. So a good number of corpses.

The city just kept smelling worse. People were working hard, but the dead were still on the ground and it was summer and they were rotting quicker than they could be cleaned up. And Eggsy wished he were surprised that clean up was moving along at an incredible pace in the posh neighbourhoods, and less so at the estates. Not a body or broken window by Harry's place, but at the old flat? Eggsy dreamt of the mass grave he had dumped bodies into for nights. The smoke of the burning filled the city but it was to the point where there was no other choice and at least when you cried on the street, you could blame the foul smelling smoke.

It had been 10 days and he still hadn't gone to see his Mum. He was kicking himself with it, but all those months of lessons drilling duty and honour into him, he couldn't stare at the destruction that maybe he could have stopped quicker, somehow, and not keep working. He reeked and nothing was getting the smell out and he had taken meetings with the agents and Merlin and they all tried to breathe through their mouths, because nothing was getting the stench out.

He didn't care - he had seen a few mates in one of the mass graves. Christ he would have danced a fucking jig if he had seen Dean in one of them, but of course that bastard stayed alive.

"Arthur, focus please," Merlin said sharply and Eggsy blinked back. 

"Right, sorry, we were talking about our contacts," Eggsy said. He looked around the room, the agents, his agents were looking at him with disappointment and a bunch of other things that he couldn't name. Only Roxy it seemed was treating him seriously. "Weren't we?" This had been his fifth meeting, and he was running on about three hours sleep a night. Three hours didn't give the nightmares time to linger.

"Dismissed," Merlin said firmly and all the agents nodded to him and not Eggsy as they got up and left. "Pathetic," Merlin sneered. He waited for Eggsy to snipe at him, and the lad just stared into space. "Christ, stop catting around so much at night, and get sleep. We have a world to attend to." Merlin couldn't look at the lad and stormed out of the room.

Eggsy stayed sitting at the head of the table and just couldn't move. He couldn't let a tear fall here, there was no smoke to blame it on. He heard the door open and put on his best fake smile. "Can I help you - oh Lancelot, is there a problem?"

She came over and didn't say a word. She simply wrapped her arms around him, and pressed his head to her heart. Her scent surrounded him, soothed him, and Eggsy wept, great heaving gulping, snotty sobs. His scent was chaos and pain and crashed against her and Roxy didn't flinch. She just held her friend through the storm until it quieted. "You've sent everyone else to counseling. Well almost everyone. You and Merlin both haven't seen to yourselves very much, have you?"

Eggsy frowned. "I ordered him to..." and Eggsy realized that he hadn't. He had mandated counseling for everyone but Merlin. "He wouldn't have gone," Eggsy said. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have gone." He looked up at Roxy who cupped his face. "He hates me."

"He is grieving. We all are."

"I made it worse for him. He was Harry's brother." Eggsy rested his head on Roxy again. "I can't do this."

"I think you can," she said. She ran her fingers through his hair. "You just need help."

"Merlin is supposed to help me, be my Fisher King, guide me, but I've cocked that up completely."

"Well, he hasn't exactly been perfect," she shot back. "Now why are you so tired and why do you smell like shit?"

"Because the clean up efforts don't exactly extend to my old neck of the woods and can't have Daisy seeing those bodies," Eggsy said. "Been going good, but that area is pretty densely populated. Working to get it cleaned up, for my mates, then hoping can get Mum and Daisy away from Dean and into Harry's house."

"Your house," Roxy corrected.

"No, it's not, but it is a good place to borrow," Eggsy said. "Do wish the smell would get off me though. They at least provide clothes which they then burn but it lingers on you."

"Lemons," Roxy said. "Or mix of salt and coffee grinds."

"Thanks," he said. "I want to sleep and not see all the blood on my hands."

"It's on mine too," she said.

"No, not like mine. Not like -" Eggsy smiled at her. "Well, Lancelot if there is nothing else, I have other matters to attend to."

"Of course, Arthur," Roxy gave him a polite nod and calmly left him alone. Her steps were measured, even as she walked through the halls and went to Merlin's office, but he wasn't there. She looked around the building, which took awhile but no one had seen him, and the train had no log of anyone leaving. She was on the third floor and saw an open door, a panel in the wall she had never noticed before. She followed it up and found herself on the roof.

And she found Merlin. He was smoking and staring at nothing. Just like Eggsy had been.

She went and sat beside him and took the cigarette out of his hand and took a drag and then ground it beneath her boot. "Tell me why I shouldn't push you off this roof right now."

"Because the fall would likely only break some limbs and ye want me dead in this moment."

"Can you smell that on me, rather thought you couldn't scent."

"I can't, but I can feel an agent at the ready, well enough. It is in the way you hold your shoulders, the angle of your head." Merlin turned his head to look at her. "So kill me then."

"No," she said. "Because that would make it easy for you wouldn't it? Do you want to die Merlin?"

Merlin pulled the flask out an drank a little. "Suicide is a sin."

Roxy nodded. "But if you drive someone to kill you then it is fine? You think he'll eventually snap and put a bullet in you? Did you not learn anything about him in training? You won't cause him to snap, you'll break him," she hissed. She moved and had Merlin pinned beneath her and a knife at his throat. "You are trying to break him and you need to stop."

Merlin tilted his head up a bit and let the blade cut into his skin just a little. He was scared at how good it felt. He dropped his head back down. "He is not who I thought. He doesn't care for the grief of others."

"Or you've decided that your grief is more important?"

"I knew Harry longer, Harry was my kin, my being, my brother!" Merlin roared.

"And Harry was the first person to believe in Eggsy in 17 years!" she roared right back. "That might be less than what you had, but don't suggest that that isn't a lot."

"I believed in him too."

"And how have you shown that?"

"He's been shirking his duties, not caring about learning the structure of the Kingsman," Merlin said. "In training he wanted to learn, was eager to learn. He doesn't care now."

"He's busy cleaning up the bodies still at the estate," Roxy said. She leaned a little more into Merlin. "He thinks it is all his fault, the amount of dead in the streets and is trying to atone. Because that is what a fucking Kingsman would do. Because that is what Harry saw in him, and what you trained him to do." Roxy looked at him with disgust. "He's not who you thought? What about you, you fucking bully. You aren't who I thought, who I respected." Roxy rolled off him and went to head back to the stairs.

"11," Merlin said. "11 here at base. 50 world wide that are associated even loosely with the Kingsman who died because of Valentine," Merlin said. "Would ye like to know their names?"

"If you want to tell me," Roxy said.

Merlin shook his head. "I'll carry them on my own. 6% of 7 billion doesn't sound so much does it? That is what reports suggest. But that is still hundreds of million dead. 1/3rd of world leaders dead. I did that at the press of a button. If I had been able to work the system better that 6% could have been better. It isn't his fault, it's mine."

Roxy shook her head. "I heard him, he called you the guv. And you were proud of him. Maybe you two should remember that? And instead of blaming yourselves and lashing out at each other, you could try healing together. There is a lot of work ahead of us. Grow the fuck up and be a Kingsman."

Roxy had stalked off and didn't hear, "shit, Harry would have loved her."

***************************************

"Last few, Eggsy," Jamal said. He sighed. "Know there were 8 living in that flat. At least no kids yeah?" The children were the worst.

"Yeah," Eggsy agreed. He knocked just in case they were wrong but there was no answer. He picked the lock and the smell hit them. They winced but didn't choke; Eggsy was devastated that it didn't bother him so much anymore. They went in and there were six corpses. He nodded to Jamal, "go get the hauler, I'll check the other rooms." He went through but that was the lot in the kitchen and living room. He started back. "Jamal, you got what we need?"

"More than, I think?" Jamal was hesitant and sounded a little nervous. Eggsy put a hand to the small of his back and went into the main area. His hand dropped and for a moment the scent of decaying flesh lost out to the overwhelming scent of Eggsy's shock as Merlin, and Percival laid out plastic sheets and rolled bodies onto them. Eggsy blinked sure it was a mirage and no, they were still there. He stepped out into the hall and saw Roxy rolling the corpse cart, and could see more Kingsman working about. From the numbers he could see, they were all there.

At a council estate, cleaning up bodies.

Eggsy went back in and saw Merlin trying to move the body carefully even as the flesh didn't cooperate. But he didn't throw up, or flinch, just kept working, and Percival did the same. In a couple minutes the flat was empty. Eggsy went to the next, Merlin beside him. They didn't talk just worked and at the end of the day when the fire pit was lit, Eggsy was too wrung out to notice but Jamal did. He saw Eggsy standing forward, that bald guy and the bird flanking him carefully and the rest of the poncy blokes in a line behind him, respectful, deferential. Like Eggsy were in charge of them. Jamal didn't comment though and at the end of the day he wasn't surprised when Eggsy disappeared with the group.

****************************************

Eggsy and all the Kingsman were in the showers at the estate. Roxy had walked in with them and dared them to say anything. No one did. They all cleaned up and passed around a coffee salt scrub and lemons and Eggsy felt the scent was finally leaving his body. He closed his eyes and let the water rain down on him. He startled when he heard Merlin in the stall next to him. It took him a moment to realize the man was singing. Eggsy opened his eyes because soon the locker room was full of most of the Kingsman singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. On the last verse he found himself joining in his smooth voice harmonizing well with Merlin's rough but melodic one. The water easily hid Eggsy's tears.

Kingsman began to dry off of and get dressed and each one came and bowed their head to Eggsy a little. Percival being the last. "We serve the king," he said.

"Thanks," Eggsy whispered. He was so in shock of it all that later he'd remember to be embarrassed that all this happened with his dick out. Roxy just gave him a sad smile before she left and it was him and Merlin. He heard Merlin shut off his water and Eggsy did the same.

Merlin dried off and through on track pants and a tshirt and sat on a bench. Eggsy echoed his movements.

"Arthur," Merlin began.

"Not now, please, I beg you not now."

"Come on," Merlin said and once again Eggsy followed Merlin. It was dark and the stars were shining brightly on the roof of the estate.

They didn't say anything just stared at the trees and the sky.

"It is nae your fault Eggsy," Merlin said.

"I should have been quicker," Eggsy replied.

"I should have been better at hacking the system," Merlin countered. 

"So many, Merlin because of us. Because of me."

"No, Eggsy, because of him. Time for us to both carrying this weight before it crushes us. Valentine set this off. And he wanted a lot more than 6% dead, 25% at least. Probably closer to 50%."

"Governments toppled because of us."

"And most have had people in temporary place for a few days now," Merlin said. "The world is moving on."

"How?"

"Because it is what we do."

"Are you?"

"As well as I can," Merlin said. "Which isn't very well at all. You have deserved better."

Eggsy bit his lip. "So have you."

Merlin looked at the moon. "I begin my job properly on the morrow, Arthur, I will not continue to fail you."

"Jesus, Merlin you've not failed me. I was an asshole."

"You were, and so was I." Merlin looked at him and held out a hand. "I am still mad at ye, I am mad at the world, but it is time to forge anew."

Eggsy shook the hand. "Fisher King, I have no clue what I am supposed to do. It would be my honour and privilege if you would help me."

"It is my privilege to serve."

"Friends?" Eggsy asked hopefully.

"Nae," Merlin said and then shrugged. "But maybe one day."

Eggsy nodded. One day was a lot better than what they had been. They sat on the roof in silence and staring at nothing.

Together.


	5. Chapter 5

"Fisher King?" Eggsy asked when they finished up yet another protocol meeting. The shit was boring, but he needed to know it. 

"Aye?" Merlin asked. He tapped his clipboard and the screen went blank. "What are your needs my king?"

Eggsy paused. Merlin had been responding to him more and more with that sentence. He figured it was some sort of protocol thing they hadn't covered yet. Maybe he had to say it to Chester and was just in the habit. He'd remember to ask another time. "There aren't no rules about me moving Mum and Daisy into Harry's place right?"

"No," Merlin said. "A few agents have families, and they live with them. It makes it harder to keep the secret, but all of the Kingsman stuff in that house was in the office. There are no other hidden weapons ye need to worry about. Your mother's mate died in the carnage then?"

"Nah, figures that bastard lived, but Mum's going to be happy to get well shot of him, finally have a decent chance at a life again, like it were when Da was alive." Eggsy smiled. "Going to spoil Daisy rotten."

Merlin nodded. "Ah, she and Mr. Baker never mated then."

"No, they are full mated, Dean bit over Da and it took." Eggsy looked at Merlin. "Why that face?"

"Eggsy, this might not go how you hope," Merlin said slowly. "What is your game plan?"

"Well they always go to the Black Prince for double Tuesday. Figure go get Mum, nice and public so he can't fuss afterwards about her legging it in the middle of the night."

"Allow me to go with you, Arthur," Merlin said.

Eggsy laughed. "Bruv, I handled how many the big day? I can handle Dean and his mates."

"Arthur, I insist."

"Thanks, but this is personal, I've got it covered," Eggsy smiled at him, pleased at how they were together, growing closer to trainer and student like they had been. It was fragile, but something. "Appreciate it though." 

Merlin nodded and went to his office and logged out. He went to the weapons room and grabbed his favourite knives, a handgun, and a signet ring. He really needed Eggsy to work on spatial awareness, the lad was so focused he didn't even notice he was being followed.

********************************

"Mum, I have a job and a place, come on," Eggsy said and smiled at how she started to get up. He knew this was the right call.

Dean growled. "She ain't going nowhere," he said and his mates moved closer. 

Eggsy could feel the aggression rising in the pub but he wasn't worried, this was five guys. Sure alphas with shit to prove, but that was nothing with his training now.

"Just go, Eggsy," Michelle said softly staring at Dean. She touched the bite on her neck and didn't move out of the booth.

Eggsy nodded and went to the door.

"Yeah just as pathetic an omega pup as ever. Shoulda taught you a lesson when you presented," Dean said.

Eggsy hit the locks on the door. "Manners maketh man, do you know what that means?" He could see Poodle pale in the reflection on the window and smiled. He hooked his umbrella around the pint glass and sent it flying. This was going to be easy. He started fighting, like he was taught and he was getting good hits in, but they weren't staying down. He didn't understand how they alphas kept getting back up. And Dean smelled horrific. It wasn't anything he had scented off an alpha before. It was distracting him, his training and biological instinct fighting each other.

Dean had smacked Eggsy around a little but never anything serious, he left that to Rottie. Honestly Eggsy didn't expect much out of Dean. He certainly didn't expect the punch that threw him down to the ground. Soon they were all kicking at him and he curled trying to protect himself. He could kick out with the shoe blade but the wanting witnesses was backfiring on him, he couldn't kill any of them. He took out someone's knee with a punch and followed it with bashing their head to the ground. At least that was one down.

Only two more picked him up by the arms and Dean started hitting, harder and harder and his scent was screaming at Eggsy and Eggsy could feel his knees wanting to drop before the strong alpha but like fuck he was bending for Dean. Sheer will and spite was keeping him up at this point. Dean came closer and the anger, and dominance pouring off him was so vile to Eggsy that Eggsy threw up, bile and blood. Dean just laughed. "Oh, Muggsy. That was almost adorable. You got better, I'll give you that. But not quite good enough. Story of your life innit?"

"I am good enough," Eggsy said and spit some more blood out. He cursed when Rottie, holding him up on the one side, punched him. "Better than you."

"Nah, you think that now in your pretty togs, but you know deep down you are shit. You even hear your mum once tell us to stop?" Eggsy didn't answer that, didn't dare look at his mum. He was focused on watching Dean and refusing to project the fear that his scent was desperately trying to put out, to soothe the alphas surrounding him. "Going to do what I should have done years ago. Rottie hold his head so I can bite him."

"Dean -" Michelle said softly.

"Shut it, Michelle," Dean warned and she went silent.

"Not in heat fucker, your bite won't do shit," Eggsy said.

"It will do enough, mark you just enough no other alpha touches you, and then when your heat comes, you'll seek me out. You'll crave me, why you'd strip down and present in front of your own mum to get my knot in you."

"Go to hell," Eggsy snarled. He started to fight again but the grip they had on his was perfect, strong, unbreakable. He was not letting Dean bite him. He tapped his heels and the blade came out. Fuck the witnesses, the Kingsman rules, he was not being claimed by Dean Baker.  He waited needing this to be at the exact right moment.

Only there was a noise and Rottie screamed. Blood bloomed on his shoulder and he dropped his hold on Eggsy. Eggsy shoved and pushed and got free and tackled Dean and began hitting. "Ha, not good enough, I'll show you not good enough." He punched again and again.

"Eggsy, stop," Michelle said, begged.

Eggsy got distracted and it was enough, Dean rolled them. He managed to graze his teeth over Eggsy's scent gland before he got a shoe to the face. Merlin kicked again and again, making sure he got away from Eggsy before he helped Eggsy up and put himself between Eggsy and Dean. He put the gun in the small of his back and pulled his knives out.

"Come at me then boyo," Merlin said calmly. 

Dean was on the ground and took the measure of him. "Got enough of a mark on him, I'm good," Dean replied. "Not like you can beat it out." Dean sniffs and there is nothing coming off the guy. And he looks different than what the boys described from the first beating. "You ain't the other bloke. Let me guess few of you posh fellas been playing with him? Well sorry to ruin your fun."

"You bruised, but didn't break skin, it won't take," Merlin replied.

"Guess you'll find out soon enough yeah?" Dean said. "Muggsy looking forward to you crawling to me."

Eggsy tried to move forward but Merlin wouldn't let him past. "Just let me kill him, Merlin, problem solved."

"No," Merlin said. He kept his guard up as the other alphas began to circle and get ready for round two. His grip tightened on his knives. "Out the back, Eggsy, the way I came in. Now."

"Please, let's just kill him," Eggsy begged. He could no longer control his scent and the omega distress began to pour off him in waves.

Dean growled a little and palmed the front of his track pants. "Muggsy, smelling pretty there, going to make me pop a knot. Why don't you come over here? Let me make it all better, show you your place?" His pack all laughed and Eggsy fought hard not to bend his head.

Michelle brushed by Eggsy and put a bar napkin in his pocket. She gave Merlin a look that held too many things for Eggsy to understand, but clearly Merlin did because he nodded and started to use his body to push Eggsy back. Michelle went right up to Dean in the middle of the pub and sank to her knees. She began to nuzzle Dean's cock. "Alpha," she purred and began to unzip him.

Eggsy stared in horror and looked ready to run in, to save her. Merlin put the knives away and turned and put his shoulder into Eggsy's stomach and carried him out the back door. He ignored Eggsy's screams and punches to his kidneys and fought to get Eggsy into the back of the Kingsman car. "Drive Timothy!" Merlin ordered as he took a hit to the face. "Eggsy stop!"

"We can't leave her there!" Eggsy screamed. "We need to kill that bastard."

"No, we don't," Merlin said and finally got Eggsy in a decent grip. "Calm yourself, lad. Remember your training. Hold your emotions tight."

Eggsy let out a primal scream and his scent flared. Timothy swerved the car, losing control and what was pouring out of Eggsy before steadying. "You bastard."

"Dean Baker, and your mother are mated Eggsy, and he is a prime alpha. To break their bond could kill your mother. It could kill him. That is why he fought so well, animal instinct, Eggsy."

"That's a myth," Eggsy shouted.

"No, it is biology. They are linked enough, that break the bond and it would be like going cold turkey on an opiad addiction." Merlin explained. "You should know this. It is covered in health class at the basic level."

"It's bullshit though, stuff they just say to keep omegas down," Eggsy said. "It has to be."

"I'm sorry Eggsy, but biology and evolution can only be fought so much. If ye killed Dean, you had a 30% chance of killing your mother. You can break bonds, but it is dangerous and needs incredible care and monitoring and -" Merlin looked at him. "And both partners have to want it. If they don't you can't fight it." Merlin willed him to understand.

"And Dean wouldn't let her go," Eggsy said softly. "And...and maybe Mum wouldn't want to either."

Merlin let go. "Eggsy, she wanted you out. She wanted you safe, that was her priority in the end there. That is an incredible sacrifice, worthy of a Kingsman." Merlin nodded to his pocket. "She slipped ye something."

Eggsy took the cocktail napkin out. 

_get daisy_

_forget me_

_i love you_

He choked on his breath as he began to sob. He couldn't breathe, the pain from the beating, the pain from his heart breaking. "What good was it to save the world Merlin? What use is it?" He sobbed. "He was right, I'm not good enough."

Merlin looked at the note. "Where would your sister be?"

"Wot?"

"If they were all at the pub, where would she be?"

"Babysitter, two floors down from us," Eggsy said.

Merlin gave the address to Timothy. He then focused on Eggsy. "We will go get your sister. We will do as your mother wishes. You will honour her bravery."

"It weren't brave," Eggsy said. "Brave would be her leaving."

"There are many types of bravery, Eggsy, trust me, you'll see many as your grow with this job," Merlin said. "And ye will not cheapen any of them. Ye ask what good was saving the world? It was this - it is allowing you to save your sister. You know well enough, we can't save everyone."

"We can try, we should try," Eggsy insisted. "That's what we do. We try, and we keep trying, until we can't and then we do more. Isn't it?"

"You will become a very good Arthur," Merlin said softly. 

"Merlin what am I going to do?" Eggsy asked.

"What you have to," Merlin replied.

Twenty minutes later they had Daisy in the car, both curled protectively around her since there was no car seat. They drove her out to the estate, well away from Dean. Every time she screamed for her mum, Eggsy soothed her as best he could. He got her tucked into a room Merlin put them in and then cleaned the blood off himself. He had to go find Merlin there were spots on his back he couldn't reach and he didn't want to bother medical.

Merlin rubbed some topical cream on spots, and added butterfly bandages. They both agreed no ribs were cracked just bruised. Merlin touched the bare shadow of teeth on Eggsy's scent gland. "The skin didn't break," he confirmed. "It is unlikely that you'll have a problem from this."

"But we don't know," Eggsy said.

"No, we don't," Merlin agreed.

"Fisher King?" Eggsy asked.

"What are your needs my king?"

"Could we pretend we are friends? Just for a few minutes?" Eggsy begged. Merlin nodded and Eggsy collapsed against him and cried. Merlin held him close and Eggsy sobbed until he passed out. He woke up in the same bed as Daisy. He smoothed her soft hair down and prayed for just one break from the universe. Just one, because he didn't know how much more he could take.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Eggsy's heart was cracking, and he didn't know if he ever would heal. Daisy didn't want him touching her. She had woke up crying and he couldn't get her to stop and every time he pulled her close, thinking his scent would soothe her, it just made it worse. And if she didn't stop crying soon, she'd make herself sick. Eggsy couldn't think, he just hit the intercom, and mumbled, "help, someone, help." He tried to pull her close again and she screamed and screamed. Eggsy had to wipe tears away and began to sing her favourite lullaby thinking it would help. It didn't.

The situation was made worse when Merlin came in with his knives, Percival and Roxy with guns, and another several agents behind them ready to fuck shit up.

Merlin took in the situation quickly enough. "Personal help, not Kingsman," he said and a good bit of the crowd dispersed. 

Later Eggsy would think in awe of how they all came to his aid. Right now though, he just wanted Daisy to breathe. "Help," he begged. He instinctively looked to Roxy. "Help Rox."

She shook her head. "I don't know babies, hun." Roxy's own scent was chaotic, wanting to help the distressed omega, but disliking the crying child.

Percival and Merlin looked at each other. Merlin was putting his knives away and Percival his gun. Percival was first and reached for Daisy and cuddled her in. She calmed a little but was still sobbing. "Neutralized but she can still tell," Percival said quietly. He swayed with the toddler in his arms and made soothing noises.

Merlin nodded and took her from Percival. His grip was a bit awkward but in a couple minutes Daisy was soothed and sucking her thumb, leaning on Merlin's shoulder.

"Wot the fuck?" Eggsy said.

Merlin copied the way that Percival had been rocking and soon Daisy drifted off, exhausted from her strop. "Well, this is going to make work difficult," Merlin said, but he didn't let her go.

"You a baby whisperer, Merlin?" Roxy asked.

"She needed a neutral scent," Percival explained. "She has spent days, a couple weeks, surrounded by people with their scents going haywire due to the trauma of the events." Percival looked at her. "And Eggsy smells like his mother, and like a great deal of strong and painful things right now, and it put her in chaos. Someone with no scent was then a comfort. This happened with you when you were about 8, Roxy."

"When Mom was in the hospital," she remembered. "You were the only one I could stand to be around."

"It will pass in a little while," Percival said. 

"So I'm making my sister sick?" Eggsy buried his head in his hands. "Great. Just fucking perfect. Of course I am."

"Percival, Lancelot, take the company credit card and one of the lorries. Go and stock up what is needed?"

"What do you need?" Roxy asked.

"Everything," Merlin replied. "She has one diaper bag with one change of clothes, and two diapers."

"I don't know what she needs. How old is she?" Roxy asked.

"20 months," Eggsy said. He was curled in on himself tight, looking at Daisy with a heartbroken face. Merlin could see Percival and Roxy breathing through their mouths, Eggsy must be smelling strongly right now.

"We'll look it up," Percival said and guided Roxy out of the room.

Merlin's arms were getting tired, for a small girl, her dead weight got heavy. He went and sat in the chair in the corner. She made a noise but settled back. "This is nae your fault," he said to Eggsy.

Eggsy laughed hollowly. "My own sister, can't stand my touch. I took her away from her mother. How is this not my fault?"

"You mother made a request, ye are honouring that. And you have seen her what once in 9 months? She knows ye but it is just all too much for her." Merlin had one hand wrapped around her bottom and the other rubbing up and down her back. It didn't look completely natural, but also not foreign.

"She...how will I explain all this to her?"

"Right now, ye need to love her, and care for her, and be her family. When she is old enough you can explain that her mother loved her so very much, she gave Daisy to her big brother, to keep her safe and protected."

Eggsy looked at Daisy, so many emotions crossing his face. "How do I be Arthur and a big brother? Hell, a fucking parent? Is there precedence for it?"

"No," Merlin admitted, "but we'll get it sorted."

"I can't take her to Harry's," Eggsy said after a couple minutes of quiet.

"Oh? It is your home," Merlin said. "We can make it safe for her."

Eggsy shook his head. "I can't do this alone. At least here there is someone always around. Medical, agents, just...back up." He didn't look at Merlin as he said that.

But Merlin understood. "This place is vast, are ye sure?"

Eggsy nodded. "Not like I had really settled into Harry's yet. And JB will love having all the kennel mates."

"Come along then," Merlin said. "Let's get you a better room."

"Better than this?" Eggsy looked around the room and snorted at that.

"Aye, a little more personal." Merlin looked at the floral wallpaper. "A little less fussy."

"Yeah," Eggsy sighed in relief. "Yeah that would be good."

Merlin heaved himself up trying his best not to jostle Daisy. They walked down the hall one wing over and then Merlin opened a door and gestured Eggsy in.

"Oh," Eggsy said. It was a suite and stunning. The walls were a soft blue, and the furniture a dark wood with crisp white and grey accents. It should have been almost cold, but instead was soothing. It carried no scent, just felt like a haven, the sitting room, the bedroom, and Eggsy guessed a bathroom based on the door he could see off the master. "Shit, this is great. Plenty of room for a toddler cot for her too." Eggsy frowned. "This looks different than a lot of the place, like the quarters. I'm not kicking anyone out am I?"

"No," Merlin replied. "No one else needs this suite right now."

Daisy made a noise as she started to wake up. She sniffed a little looking for a known scent and blinked awake. She stared at Merlin and he stared back.

"I'm Hamish," he told her softly. "Hello, poppet."

"Lo," she said. "Mama?"

"I'm sorry lass, she isn't here right now," Merlin said. "You are in a safe and happy place, like she wanted ye to be."

Eggsy watched Merlin in surprise at how well he was handling Daisy. He had been sure she'd be terrified by the stranger, but Merlin was just pulling her in.

"Eggsy is here, though," Merlin continued. "And ye know how much he loves you, don't you?"

Daisy nodded a little and looked at Eggsy, trying desperately to remember him.

"Hi, Daisy," Eggsy said. "I'm sorry I was gone. I missed you everyday, yeah? Missed tucking you in." Eggsy said. He again tried to sing her lullaby and then she smiled.

"Essy," she said and reached for him.

"Yeah, Dais, it's me," he said. He moved closer and took her in his arms. "I'm here, sweetie, not going anywhere." He kept singing to her and she eventually snuggled in tight to him.

Merlin nodded to Eggsy and left them be. There was a lot of work to be done.

********************************

"Shit," Eggsy said staring at all the packages that Percival and Roxy were bringing in. "Don't think she needed this much stuff."

Daisy was walking about the sitting room and opening bags. She squealed when she found one that was just stuffed animals. "Doggie!" she shouted as she pulled it out, yanking so hard she fell on her bum.

Roxy laughed and bent down and helped her pull out the rest, but staying well away from touching Daisy.

Percival went into a box and pulled out a resealable fruit pouch. "I thought she might be hungry?"

"Fuck, mate, those things are the best, couldn't swing them a lot though." Eggsy broke the seal and handed it to Daisy who gulped it down. He handed her a second one that she finished half of. Eggsy looked around the suite. "Damn, I wish there was a tiny fridge in here."

Percival went to a cabinet in the corner, and opened it, showing the hidden fridge. "Merlin was kind to give you this space."

"Huh?" Eggsy asked. "He said no one was using it."

Percival gave Eggsy a blank look. "And you can't tell?"

"Tell what?" Eggsy replied confused. He looked around and Daisy was playing with the stuffed animals and Roxy was unboxing the tiny toddler cot to put it together. Eggsy went to the bedroom, and the bathroom and looked around but he couldn't figure it out. "What am I supposed to see that I'm missing?"

Roxy gave him a sympathetic look. "He has like freakish superhero eyes, so he just doing that thing where he thinks everyone sees what he does, but we can't. What makes him a good sniper."

Percival shook his head. "You two are both blind."

"Hey," Roxy and Eggsy replied, indignant. 

Daisy looked at them, and had learned enough in her short life to scoot a little further away from an alpha who sounded upset.

Roxy looked at Eggsy who shrugged sadly. "I'm sorry sweetie," Roxy said. "Promise no yelling. What sheet do you want on your bed, elephants or pretty swirls?"

"Ellie," Daisy said.

"Ellie?"

"From the cartoon Pocoyo," Eggsy said. "Ellie the elephant."

"Elephants, it is." Roxy opened up the sheets and put them on the thing mattress that went over top the cot.

"Eggsy," Percival said, drawing his attention back. "Eggsy, think properly about this space. What it feels like."

Eggsy looked at the walls, the furniture. "Oh."

"There you go," Percival said. He crouched down. "Little one, Eggsy has to go have a quick talk with someone. Are you okay with Roxy and I, helping us sort all your new stuff."

"She probably needs changing," Eggsy said, wanting to delay going to where he needed to go.

"I changed Roxy once upon a time," Percival said. "Go, Arthur, pay your proper respects."

Eggsy nodded and gave Daisy a quick kiss and jogged out of the suite, not wanting to leave her too long. He wound his way through the corridors and down to the work area. He knocked on door and waited to be called in. "Those are your rooms," he said to Merlin.

Merlin spun in his chair and looked at Eggsy. "They were an available suite to match the needs of the king."

"But they were yours," Eggsy pressed. 

"Aye," Merlin admitted. "I spend a lot of time here at the estate, working. I had those created about 15 years ago."

"You can't give up your space to me, not where there are so many room here. We can take something else," Eggsy frowned. He wasn't quite smelling distressed, but he felt himself projecting something. Dealing more with Merlin like this made Eggsy realize how much he relied on scent to understand people, how to react to them, how they reacted to him. Merlin not smelling it, not projecting anything was making Eggsy see that he needed to actually communicate with Merlin in a way he hadn't before with people. "It's not right, not fair to you."

"It's fair enough," Merlin said.

"I took your job away from you, took Harry's house, now your suite," Eggsy shook his head. "I keep taking from you somehow. And what do you get?"

Merlin didn't respond. Eggsy looked around the room. He had been here since Merlin had moved into the space after becoming Fisher King, but it was so dead. A blank space. "You need something in here. A plant, a poster, something. Paint the shitty beige at least."

"I'll be fine." Merlin looked at him. "It is to my benefit to have ye rested and comfortable. That suite will provide it. It is simple logic, Arthur. Now I have things to attend to." He dismissed Eggsy.

Eggsy decided to let it be. He went back to the suite and saw Percvial making animal noises with Daisy and laughed a little at the sight. "Hey bruv?"

"Yes?" Percival asked looking up.

"Can you help me with something, late tonight?"

"I serve at the pleasure of the king," Percival agreed solemnly.

"Thanks."

****************************************

The next morning Merlin headed to his office, mind already planning what he and Eggsy needed to go over that day, what the lad had to learn. He frowned when he smelled something, faint. He turned on the lights to his office and paused.

The walls were now painted the same blue as his suite, there was a comfortable chair in the corner, with a reading lamp.

And a few of Harry's butterflies on the walls.

Merlin went and sat behind his desk and looked at it.

It really was much better.

At their meeting neither he nor Eggsy mentioned the change, just got to work, quietly while Daisy sat at her new colouring table in the corner of the king's office. She had smiled at Merlin when he arrived and demanded a hug, which he gave easily. She showed him a picture and babbled nonsense and he responded seriously before going about his business with Eggsy.

Merlin noticed the bit of blue paint still under Eggsy's nails but didn't comment. 

They worked efficiently until Merlin got a call that the new quartermaster need his aid. He asked permission to go.

"Yeah, of course, wanted to take Daisy out for a little play time in the sun anyways," Eggsy agreed. "Hey, how come you are so good with her?"

"Handling a child isn't that difficult, Eggsy, people manage all the time."

"Sure, but still. You got a kid out there, missing you?" Eggsy joked. No one screamed life long bachelor like Merlin did. And it was horrible to think, but no one would mate a scent dead beta.

"Yes, though it is doubtful they miss me," Merlin replied, like he didn't just drop a huge bomb on Eggsy. "Thank you for the work to the office. It was kind and I appreciate it." He left to deal with the issues in the different department.

"What the fuck?" Eggsy said when he remembered to talk.

"Wh the fuc?" Daisy repeated. She waited for Eggsy to praise her for saying a new word. When he didn't she decided to go back to colouring.

Eggsy immediately tried to pull up Merlin's files, but got nowhere, the man had them buried so deep they didn't exist. But Eggsy was damn well going to find out the truth.


	7. Chapter 7

"Fisher King, I can't," Eggsy pleaded. "Fuck how do you do this?" His scent was haywire and he wished Merlin were reacting to it, because frankly he could use a little comfort. But Merlin kept sitting there and looking at him. "How do you make these sorts of choices? Especially right now?"

"Because the world needs us," Merlin said. He tapped his clipboard and five titles appeared on the board. "These are five missions that your quartermaster and I put together. Some Kingsman are field ready, and if we don't start deploying soon, things in certain regions could get much worse."

Eggsy stared at the list. "Okay, but the mechanics of it? Do we have to start with five?"

"No," Merlin said. "This is part to help you learn how to make the decisions, prioritize. Ye will do this a couple times with me, so that I can teach you and then it goes to you and Merlin to make the choices."

"But you would still provide input right?"

"If ye like," Merlin replied.

Eggsy nodded. "Okay any of those long term?"

"This one," Merlin tapped and it was highlighted. "Likely 5 weeks."

"Can it be pushed back another month."

"Not more than that," Merlin said.

"Well, push it back as far as it can go. Is there an agent in mind for it?" Eggsy stood up and began to move about the office. He always thought better on his feet. 

"Tristan."

"Okay we ramp up his psych visits and his physical training, prep him as much as we can and then send him out." Eggsy bounced on his toes. "One down, four to figure out. Percival is one of the field ready, any use his skills?"

"This one year, two weeks at the outside," Merlin pulled up the file. "And it could cascade down into this mission here, where he could provide back up for whatever agent you send to Bolivia."

"No," Eggsy said looking at the screen. "No dropping from one right into the other. Not yet. I want every agent home after every mission for 72 hours for a full debrief, and medical and psych check. Also how often are those required in general?"

"Medical twice a year, psych when deemed necessary."

"Not anymore, we ain't leaving our guys in the wind. You go your medical check, you get your brain checked," Eggsy said. "Harry was...Harry was brilliant but, well you would have seen his response in the pub yeah? That weren't right."

"He was showing off to you," Merlin replied. "Already trying to tempt you into the business."

"No," Eggsy said. "I mean yeah sure that was part of it, but come on. I mean loved Dean's pack getting the shit kicked out of them, but you know that wasn't on."

Merlin was quiet. "It is difficult to admit Harry's flaws. He was my brother. And very persuasive. But," Merlin shrugged.

"But," Eggsy agreed. "You and me, we're going to take care of the Kingsman better yeah?"

"A good decision, Arthur." Merlin looked at the screen. "This mission in Vienna would be suited to Lancelot."

"She ready for solo?"

"I have the utmost faith in her," Merlin replied. Eggsy scanned the screen and nodded. "Yeah, that fits with what she killed at in training. We got people in Berlin right? They can work with her?" Merlin made a few notes while Eggsy kept reading. They talked back and forth a little bit, and made decisions about Bolivia. That left one mission on the screen. "Wait, that says Sweden."

"A diplomatic mission, my idea," Merlin said.

"Explain. Because I am pretty sure that is a mistake."

"Not at all," Merlin countered. "You think, what, Tilde dislikes you?"

"Uh yeah," Eggsy said. "Shitty sex with a fellow omega while traumatized by kidnapping can't exactly be a selling feature."

"She spoke of you fondly," Merlin said.

"You spoke to her, about me?" Eggsy stared at him. "That's a bit of an over step innit?"

"Most of our contacts in Scandinavia didn't make it," Merlin said. "She was a potential resource. We utilize any resource. You have tea with her in three days."

"You are fucking coming with me," Eggsy said immediately. "And what about Daisy?"

"She can come along, or we can arrange care."

"Coming with," Eggsy decided. "She's only starting to get used to me again. Even 24 hours away, could set us back." 

"Very good, Arthur," Merlin replied. "I will consult with our quartermaster and get the missions in order. You need a new suit for the tea. Go discuss it with Andrew."

"Sure," Eggsy said. "I got the time to go out and buy Daisy a nice dress?"

"Just let her minder know ye are doing so," Merlin answered.

"Sure," Eggsy agreed. "Percival won't mind, he's sunk on her."

"Very good, Arthur." Merlin paused. "You did well."

Eggsy's scent went pleased and as ever Merlin didn't react. "Really?"

"Really."

"Oh. Thanks, yeah?" Eggsy said. "Bit terrifying sending them out."

"It is, and a good Arthur never finds it an easy decision."

"Chester find it easy?"

"He didn't used to. Keep that in mind as you grow in the position."

Eggsy nodded and went down to the tailors.

*******************************************

Eggsy held Daisy's hand tight and kept an eye on Merlin as to what he was supposed to do. Shit, Tilde looked so polished and the room they were in made the best at the Kingsman estate look cheap. Merlin took two steps forward and bowed so Eggsy quickly did the same. Daisy tottled along and bowed too and looked to the men to praise her. Eggsy gave her a smile for trying hard.

"Well, hello, little one," Tilde said and came forward and crouched. "Your dress is so very pretty, I love the colour green." Daisy giggled and dove in for a hug. Eggsy was going to protest but Tilde waved him off and hugged Daisy. "Now little one, we have some very boring things to talk about. But I have a nanny here who is very nice and would like to take you to a magical playroom with all sorts of toys and cookies and milk. Would you be willing to go?"

Daisy looked a little scared but the promise of toys and milk seemed nice. "Essy?"

"Yeah, hun, you can go play and I'll find you in a little bit, okay?"

"kay," Daisy agreed. The woman in the corner came over and picked Daisy up and nuzzled her a little and Daisy sank into the touch. They left and Tilde gave Eggsy a hug as well, which startled him but he returned it gently.

"I am not so breakable, Eggsy," she said. He laughed a little and held her tighter. "Good." She turned to Merlin. "You were the one in his ear, who helped him save the day, yes?"

"Yes ma'am," Merlin agreed.

"Then the world owes you a debt."

"The world owes me little."

"Hmm," Tilde said and went over to the table. Eggsy watched her walk and Merlin kicked his ankle. Shit. Eggsy hurried over and pulled out her chair. "Thank you, Eggsy," Tilde said. They all sat and she poured some tea. "Do we make small talk or get to business?"

Eggsy looked to Merlin for guidance, and Merlin gave him back a bland stare. Eggsy glared and Merlin still did nothing. Asshole. This was a fucking test. "Wanker," Eggsy whispered at him and then turned bright red as Tilde giggled. "Right. Okay so here is the deal..." Eggsy in fact had no clue what the deal was. Christ. He kicked Merlin under the table.

Merlin finally relented. "I vote we can trust her implicitly."

"Okay," Eggsy breathed in and out slowly a few times. "We are from Kingsman tailors. Only that's a front yeah? We're like MI-6? Only not tied to any government. Independent Intelligence. Mostly we try to stop shit from going completely tits up?" Eggsy winced. "Only supposed to be a lot more posh than that."

"Do you only operate in England and her holdings?"

"No ma'am, the world over," Merlin explained. He outlined their history and their purpose simply but clearly and Eggsy watched how calm he was, like letting a crown princess into the greatest secret he held was no big deal. Like it was the sort of thing he did every day. Eggsy looked at the way Merlin was holding himself and it wasn't quite the Merlin he was used to. It took him a minute but he realized that Merlin was copying the way Harry sat, held himself. It made him sad and Tilde looked over at the change in his scent. 

She held up a hand and cut Merlin off. "Why do you not take care of him?" she asked Merlin.

"I am," Merlin said confused, "Hence why he didn't come to this meeting alone."

"He is in distress," Tilde glared. "Do you Kingsman not take care of your omegas? Is this how you treat one of your charges?"

"You are mistaken, Princess. I am in his charge," Merlin said.

Tilde looked at Eggsy and he smiled. "V-day sorta put me in charge. Yeah."

"But you are training him and you do not care, bah," she said. She leaned back unimpressed.

"He's legally scent dead, Tilde, he doesn't notice," Eggsy said, wanting to calm her down, wanting not to lose whatever they were building.

"So he learns your facial expressions, the way you are twisting your fingers there," she pressed. "You learn from him, but he should be learning you as well." She looked between them. "What did you come here for? Be short and precise."

Merlin opened his mouth and Tilde waved him off. "Not you."

Oh fuck, Eggsy thought. "Help," he said.

"With what, I am rather busy as you can guess."

"So are we, or we will be soon enough."

"Your men should already be in the field, helping. There is chaos out there if you hadn't noticed and some places are hanging on by a thread," she snapped.

Eggsy glared at her. "And so were my men. Most were out there when it happened. Kingsman only take a life to save another. We are supposed to be protectors and Valentine turned these men, men who for years have tried to save every innocent life they could, into monsters. They've helped clean up London, and tried to pull themselves back together. A couple tried to kill themselves over what they did, Tilde. And I am not sending my men back out until I know they are ready. A few are, a few are ready to carry their fucking heavy burden again, only a bunch of our secondary teams were hit hard. So what we're looking for is back up, if things go to shit for our men. Word if any gossip floats your way, that just feels hinky to you. You want to rebuild the world, fine then help us from your meeting rooms while we get back to dealing with the alleys." Eggsy's scent had gone from sad to flat, determined as he ranted.

Tilde looked at him. "I will give you the number of the head of our secret organization, we are small but my men are fucking badasses." Eggsy snorted at that. "We will have a once a month conversation about the state of the world and anyways that we can help each other, meeting in person once a quarter." She held out a hand. "The Kingsman have an ally in Sweden." 

Eggsy ignored the hand and crushed her in a hug. "Thanks Tilde, you're fucking aces you know."

"I do," she replied and kissed his head. "You are learning quickly yes?"

"Not as quick as I'd like," Eggsy replied.

"He is doing remarkably well, considering everything that has been put on him," Merlin added. "He is becoming a very capable leader, with incredible potential."

Eggsy stared at him in shock. "Really?"

"Really," Merlin answered.

Tilde looked between the two men. "Hmmm," she said.

"Wot?" Eggsy asked.

"Nothing," Tilde replied. "Now, let us talk recovery."

The three held their meeting for two hours and exchanged a great deal of information and promises. After they went and collected Daisy who was napping after playing hard. Tilde kissed her head, after Eggsy picked her up. "You are lucky, to have such a beautiful child."

"My little sister," Eggsy said.

"Is she not yours?"

Eggsy held her tight. "Yeah, she is now."

"I will send along some treats for her." Tilde looked at the two men. "I have other work, return home safely."

"Thank you, princess," Merlin said and bowed. Eggsy had his hands full and couldn't bow so dropped into a bit of a curtsy.

She smiled at them. "This will be good."

"Going to be brilliant," Eggsy said.

**************************************************

They were on the plane home, and Daisy was eating a snack and watching cartoons, while Eggsy and Merlin went over some of the files that Tilde gave them.

"So why was that a test?" Eggsy asked.

"To see how much ye have learned, to see how you adapt," Merlin said. "Soon, you will have to have more interactions with people in power both public and private."

"Thought we operated at the height of secrecy."

"Of course, but in this world that means a few hundred know of us," Merlin explained. "And she was a good softball start for you."

"Yeah, I can get that."

"You did well, Arthur," Merlin said.

"I'll do better."

"You will," Merlin agreed.

"Will I go into the field a lot?" It was something Eggsy had been wondering about.

"Nae," Merlin said. "Only in extreme emergency."

Eggsy looked over at Daisy. He could live with that. He drummed his fingers on the table and Merlin watched his hands. That meant he was making a decision. Tilde was right, he needed to pay more attention to Eggsy's tells. To Eggsy.

He would. He would learn everything he could about the lad, to not be hampered by the lack of scent in his nose.

It didn't feel like the curse it would have even two weeks ago.


	8. Chapter 8

"So, Percival, do you have anything else to add?" Eggsy sat behind his desk and looked at the man who was perfectly composed as he always was. But there was something in his eyes.

"No sir, the mission was near on textbook," Percival said and shifted his legs a little. "I'll be able to assist with the upcoming mission."

"Sure, bruv," Eggsy said, "But first you have another important task."

"I always go to medical on return from a mission," Percival replied swiftly. 

"I know," Eggsy reassured. "But Daisy missed her Misser P something fierce. I'd hoped if you were up to it, you could hang with her watch a movie, play blocks."

Percival gave him a look. "I know what you are doing."

"You mean, making my sister happy?" Eggsy smiled. "And if helps you be okay, well that's just a bonus innit?"

"I am fine," Percival said.

"So you'll be a little finer, yeah?" Eggsy shrugged. "Go sit on the carpet and sneak her a biscuit and let yourself relax. You did good."

"For a moment, on that roof, I saw the crowds from that day. It was gone in a blink. But for a moment my dreams were in waking life. And I hesitated."

"Got the job done, agent, and came home in one piece. One second of hesitation doesn't bother me none." Eggsy stood up and came around the table. "Going to hug you now."

"Why?"

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "Because one of my boys comes home to me, after doing a good job, they get a hug."

"Merlin help," Percival pleaded, looking over to the corner where Merlin had been quiet and reading reports. Merlin ignored him. "Very well," Percival sighed.

Eggsy smiled at him and pulled him into a tight hug. "You did great, Percival, and I am proud of you." He gave an extra squeeze and let go. Neither man would mention that Percival squeezed back. "Now off you go,"he shooed the man away. Percival gave him another inscrutable look and then left the office. "Are Kingsman not huggers?" Eggsy asked Merlin once they were alone.

"Would ye have wanted to hug Chester?"

"Good point." Eggsy started to pace. "But you know what?"

"I'm sure you'll tell me." Merlin stopped working to watch Eggsy.

"Kingsman need more hugs."

"Other and than ye and Lancelot they are all men over 40," Merlin points out.

"Wot and they don't need hugs?" Eggsy countered. He kept moving and gesturing and knew his scent was getting anxious. "See the problem is the Kingsman doesn't give a fuck about its agents. And dammit, it should. These men were burning out so hard. And what, alphas don't need hugs? That's bullshit. Did Chester ever once say excellent work, good job, we're proud of you? Or was it just here is your next assignment. So excuse me if I care about them a little more. And I know it is omega-y and like I give a fuck if it makes me seem to soft or whatever bullshit is rolling around in your head Fisher King. And another thing what the hell are you doing?"

Merlin had gotten up during the rant and approached Eggsy. He put his hands on Eggsy's shoulders and gave him a quick hug, a two second hold but it was still clearly a hug. "Kingsman need hugs," he said to Eggsy. "Now then Merlin needs my help with a system update, and ye have no more meetings for today. Excuse me."

Eggsy stood in the middle of his office. "What the fuck?" he said into the silence.

***********************

"What the fuck, Rox? What the fuck?" he said as they threw punches at side by side bags in the gym. 

"What the fuck about what the fuck?" she asked breathing heavy. Her scent was up in the gym and she smelled good. It was a comforting scent. Not one he wanted shagging him, more familial, but he liked it near him.

"Merlin hugged me!"

"Okay," she stopped punching. "You need to tell me everything." Eggsy kept working the bag and explained what happened and then she huffed and went back to her own punches. "So you give a big speech, rant thing, about how Kingsman need more hugs and you were getting all worked up...so he hugged you."

"Exactly. What the fuck is that about?" Eggsy added in a few kicks to the bag.

"He was doing what you said!"

"Yeah, well not like he's done that a whole bunch before," Eggsy muttered. "Why was this what he listened to?"

"Because he's trying Eggsy," Roxy said fed up. "He's trying so hard."

Eggsy paused. "Trying what?"

"You said Tilde yelled at him, for not paying enough attention to you. You haven't missed a meal, you have almost banker hours in a job that really shouldn't, so that you can spend your evenings and weekends with Daisy. Your scent has been steadier in the last week. He's taking care of you."

"No, he ain't, he's still been a right cranky fuck."

"Well, yes," Roxy agreed. "But I am pretty sure that is his baseline personality. Doesn't mean he isn't working his ass off to make you feel okay. And you said Kingsman need hugs, so he hugged you."

"Bullshit," Eggsy said, but it was weak, uncertain.

Roxy shrugged. "Okay, it's bullshit."

Eggsy looked at the clock. "Where is he anyways? Usually he works out about now."

"Like I would know," Roxy said and went back to her pummeling.

Two hour later, Eggsy was worried. There was no sign of Merlin. He wasn't even on the roof. He called up Percival who was more than happy to babysit Daisy, and then said fuck it and engaged the tracker in Merlin's glasses. And fuck. Eggsy took the bullet train to the city and a Kingsman driver took him to Harry's house.

Eggsy knocked on the door and found it opened easily under his hand. "Merlin?" he called out. There was no answer, but there were boxes strewn about. He checked the bog and Mr. Pickle and and the butterflies were all gone. He went upstairs and could finally hear noise. He followed it and saw Merlin emptying out Harry's wardrobe. "Merlin?"

"Kingsman clothes have to be disposed of carefully," Merlin said. "Can't let poison knife shoes end up in the charity shop can you?" He was packing the suits up.

"Why now?"

"Because sooner or later we will need this property for an agent or some sort of circumstance and I didn't want to have to do this at the last minute. And leaving this shrine was hurting my soul." Merlin folded shirts and packed them. "Do ye know he only owned white dress shirts? Not even off white. This one particular white. When he wanted dramatic he'd get it in trousers or a smoking jacket, but the shirt was always pristine." 

Eggsy sat on the bed and watched. He would offer to help but he was pretty sure Merlin would stab him. "He seemed...well all Kingsman dress well."

"Yes, but he was a little extra about it, as the kids say." Eggsy snorted at that. Merlin kept packing. "He taught me to tie a tie, ye know. When we were kids. He was fussy about his clothes even when 10."

"That sounds about right." Eggsy grabbed the tape and sealed the full box. He picked it up and took it downstairs before Merlin could. 

They worked in silence for the most part, Merlin occasionally adding in a story about Harry when he would come across him. Soon upstairs was stripped of what Merlin wanted to pack up, except for Harry's office. Merlin stopped outside the closed door, and was taking a deep breath, preparing himself.

Eggsy didn't think, just moved behind Merlin and wrapped his arms around him and hugged tight. He was shocked when Merlin didn't push him away. Instead after a minute, Merlin pat his hand and Eggsy let go and they went into the office.

"You know, he said to me, a gentleman's name appears in the paper three times," Eggsy said looking at the walls. "Birth, marriage, and death. That a gentleman should be discreet. This room ain't fucking discreet."

Merlin laughed a little and put a box on Harry's desk. He opened an art portfolio he had brought and began to take the pages down, putting each carefully behind plastic. "He was a man of contradictions." Eggsy packed up other things as Merlin dealt with the headlines. "Do ye know, he was only truly ever mad a me once. But it last a year. His anger and disappointment were fierce and painful things."

"Yeah, I know that feeling well," Eggsy agreed. "What did you do?"

"I let the mother of my son take him to America and never fought it." Merlin shook his head. "I...she convinced me it was right. Harry was so pissed. Months of the cold shoulder, wouldn't even let me monitor his missions."

"How'd you fix it?"

"He got captured, I lead the rescue. We had a huge row right in the middle of the escape. But we got back to who we were."

"Which was brothers."

"And colleagues, and friends." Merlin sighed and wiped a tear as he took the last headline down. "It is amazing how many different things one person can be to you."

"Starting to get that," Eggsy said, looking at Merlin. "I'll take these downstairs." He knew the guy needed a minute.

When Merlin came down, face calm, and clearly washed to hide the tears, they loaded the office boxes into Merlin's car, the rest going to be handled by support staff, and drove back to the estate. They took the boxes to Merlin's office and Eggsy followed Merlin up to the roof where they had a cigarette and drank some gin to Harry.

"I'm your boss, you're my mentor," Eggsy said into the stillness of the night. "That's a couple different things innit?"

"It is."

"We could maybe be friends too," Eggsy said. "Roxy pointed out, you been taking care of me."

"You've been taking care of all of us." Merlin looked at him. "I want to be clear in this Eggsy. I fucking hated you after we returned, despised your very existence."

"Thanks," Eggsy winced.

Merlin laughed a little. "But that was my grief talking," he said. "And I handled it poorly. We have been finding our way. Slowly and with a stumble or two, but we have been finding our way."

"We have," Eggsy agreed.

"You are already good, and I firmly believe you are going to be an amazing Arthur, and a true asset, and one of the best Kingsman ever," Merlin said. He fell over when Eggsy hug attacked him. "Well then, please be careful. I don't want a broken limb from falling off the roof."

"We're friends," Eggsy said. "Admit it, we're pals now."

Merlin gave him a small hug back. "Aye, Eggsy, it would be my pleasure to call my king, my friend."


	9. Chapter 9

"I don't have to go," Eggsy said quickly.

For the fifth time.

"Aye, ye do," Merlin countered. "While we had originally said that you wouldn't go on many missions, this is different."

"It's not a mission, it's a bloody royal ball!" 

"Is that not a mission, in a sense?" Merlin countered. "You and Roxy will go to Tilde's party, be a guest of the royal family for the weekend. She is creating valuable contacts and tons of opportunity for ye to lay trackers on people. We need to rebuild our resources, this is a good way to do so."

"But why can't you come with me and do all that?" Eggsy whined. "Have you seen what I have to wear?"

"Yes, a tuxedo, the horror."

"You like wearing them?" Eggsy countered.

Merlin opened his mouth and closed it. "No," he admitted. "Harry wore them quite well, but I always hated them. Worse than a suit, confining things." Merlin holds up a hand. "But think Roxy has to be in a ballgown and frankly she'd rather be in the tux."

"I'd almost rather the ball gown," Eggsy muttered. "And why do we have to be gone 3 days? And why can't I bring Daisy? And why?"

Merlin went over and gently bopped Eggsy on the head with his clipboard. "Breathe, calm yourself, Arthur. We have gone over all of this numerous times. This was in part your plan, and it is a good one. Ye have hired a nanny that you have vetted, that I have vetted, and that Daisy adores. She also has Percival as back up."

"Sally is great with Daisy isn't she?" Eggsy began to calm himself from the panic attack he was working towards. Sally had been the daughter of one of Merlin's staff who had died and was a godsend. She understood the Kingsman and was wonderful with Daisy. And Percival had lunch with Daisy every couple days. His girl wasn't having nightmares anymore and was up to 30 different words. "It's just...I'm scared she'll think I'm abandoning her."

Merlin nodded. "Bring her back a treat and all will be well. Arthur, it will be fine." Merlin looked at his clipboard. "We need to discuss a few missions."

"Sure," Eggsy said and they got to work, setting up some plans and then Eggsy left for a final check of his tux. Merlin was about to file paperwork, when his clipboard flashed red.

"Oh, shit," he said. He should let Eggsy know about the change in a mission, but the lad would use it as an excuse to not go to Sweden. "Percival, your mission for next week? It is going live in 2 hours," he said after contacting the man.

"Understood," Percival replied.

Merlin remembered Eggsy's new rules. "Do ye feel you are capable of this?"

Percival laughed a little. "Yes, Fisher King, I am perfectly prepared for this mission."

"Good. Do ye need a hug before ye leave?" They were all gently teasing their king about the hug policy, but he let it go, mainly because most of the agents secretly appreciated the gesture. Eggsy gave very good hugs.

"Not from your bony arms," Percival replied and Merlin snorted. 

"My arms are fucking spectacular and ye know it. Get your gear sorted." Merlin signed off and went to tell the quartermaster about the changes. And get yelled at a little bit for not letting them do their job. It was hard to give up, and he had been better but still. Merlin went to the supply room and carefully packed Eggsy and Roxy's bags with what he expected to be the necessary supplies and some basic clothes. They would have a second trunk for their formal wear. He went down his checklist and didn't think about how he used to do this for his brother. He packed a pair of oxfords for Eggsy and thought of all the times he had packed brogues for Harry, just to annoy him. Merlin found the memory fond instead of painful. That caused its own sort of pain that he was moving on. Merlin finished packing and went to attend some other tasks.

******************************************

Day one of Arthur and Lancelot had gone perfectly, which of course meant day two had to go to complete shit. Not for them, they were having a grand time. For Merlin, since Sally was throwing up so much that she had to be in medical. Percival was in Cairo, Eggsy in Sweden and Merlin was the only other person that Daisy knew. Merlin sat with her in his former suite and figured technically he didn't have a lot of work to do with Eggsy gone. Only 6 hours of stuff that needed attending to.

"Peppa pig?" Daisy asked.

"Very well," Merlin said, figuring he could get a little work done while she watched two episodes. He knew Eggsy and Sally were very strict about screen time. But 2 hours later he was sitting on the ground with her and they were eating yoghurt. "Ye know, Peppa is a little stuck up. I like George."

"Dinosaur," Daisy agreed and roared.

"Do ye like dinosaurs?" Merlin asked eager. "I love them."

Daisy nodded and roared again.

"Right! To the natural history museum," he said. "We need what...what do we need for an adventure lass?" Merlin thought about the three times he had taken his son out for an adventure before he had been taken away. "Stroller, diaper bag, and car seat, which is already in a Kingsman taxi which I will have meet us at the front of the shop." Merlin nodded. "Let's go." It wasn't as easy as that and it was an hour and a half before they were at the museum. But Daisy squealed and clapped when she saw her first dinosaur skeleton. Merlin made sure to take photos with his glasses and they wandered through the exhibit slowly and he read her every plaque and told her the random facts he still remembered. Daisy was enraptured by it all and they checked out a few other exhibits before she began to fuss. 

Merlin took her to the loo to change her and then bought her a cookie and a dinosaur plushie that she insisted also needed a tutu which he was happy to provide. When they returned to the estate she was dead asleep and he carried her to the quartermaster's office to check on Arthur and Lancelot who were doing well and then brought her to the suite. Sally was there looking like death, and Merlin shooed her away so as not to make Daisy sick. He settled Daisy into her crib and crawled into the bed and sighed. It was a damn comfortable bed and he had missed it. Merlin drifted off far earlier than he usually did, the afternoon's adventure exhausting him.

He was awoken with a finger in his eye.

It was small and followed by a giggle, so he quickly stopped reaching for a weapon. "And what are ye doing on the bed little one?" He opened his eyes and Daisy waved at him.

"Honk shooo, honk shoooo, honk shooooooo," she said dramatically.

"I was snoring that loudly hmm?" 

Daisy nodded.

"And ye had to climb out of your crib to let me know that?" She nodded again. "And little one, are you supposed to climb out of your crib?"

"Shhh, no tell Essy."

"I think I can keep it a secret. Now do ye want to see if Sally can mind you today?" Merlin sat up and stretched. He felt a little gross having passed the night in his clothes, but a shower and coffee would sort him.

"No." 

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"So ye do want Sally?"

"No."

"Yes or no, little one?"

"No."

"Okay, I'll sort that after I shower." Merlin got up and went to the ensuite and was confused when Daisy followed him. "Can I be alone?"

"No."

"I need to wee lass. Please leave?"

"No."

"I know ye have more words than no, lass."

"No." Daisy reached onto a shelf and pulled out some of her bath toys and played with them on the ground.

Merlin really had to take a piss. He quickly googled if he'd be scarring her for life if he took a wee while she was in the room, and most pages suggested that no, it was fine. He went to the toilet and angled so she wouldn't see anything and went as quickly as he could and then flushed.

"Wash hans," she said.

"Well I was going to step into the shower so I'll wash them in there. Can ye go play in the room?"

"No."

"Lord above, but Harry is killing himself laughing right now," Merlin muttered. He hung a towel on the shower door to block her seeing anything. "Close your eyes, little one." Daisy did and he quickly stripped and stepped in. "Okay ye can open them."

"Boys dangle, do you?" she asked. 

"Aye," Merlin said and wondered what he had ever done to deserve this moment. He showered quickly and pulled a spare towel in to dry off and wrap around himself. He stepped out and went to the closet where there was still some spare clothes of his and dressed. "Now, let's get you sorted." He changed her and put her in little overalls that were frankly almost too cute. "I have work to do, can I leave ye with someone else?"

"No."

"I should have expected that." Merlin took her to breakfast and then to Eggsy's office, because it was set up for her company. Daisy played while Merlin did his work. It took longer than normal because there were frequent breaks to read alphabet books, open crackers, and stack blocks. When she just dropped asleep at one point he thanked god and worked as fast as he could until she woke up and it started all over again.

"Ye say No more than Harry ever did, and he said it a lot."

"Who Hawwy?" she asked and climbed into his lap and touched his clipboard and almost bombed the midlands. He quickly shut it off.

"Harry was my brother. He was a hero."

"Story!"

"No," he teased. Her eyes filled with tears and she sobbed. "Oh shit," Merlin said. He stood with her in his arms and rocked her and sang Country Roads until she calmed down. He imagined before her move here she was told no quite a bit and not in a kindly way. "Once upon a time there was a little boy Hamish. His mother was widowed and they were alone, until one day they weren't. Until one day he gained a brother named Harry, who was quite a mischief maker." He told her stories of them growing up, silly tall tales with a kernel of truth, until he grew hoarse, and she fell asleep again in his arms. He lay her down on the couch. "Harry, you would have liked this little one," he whispered.

Sally came in, looking a little better and took over so that Merlin could go help the support staff with a few missions. He kissed Daisy's head and went about his business.

When Eggsy returned that night, he and Merlin had a quick debrief and Merlin didn't mention his time with Daisy at all.

********************************

"Counwy woads, take me home," Daisy sang over and over, just like she had been for the last three days. 

It was driving Eggsy spare, and also confused, because god knows where she picked it up. He had asked Sally but she swore she hadn't taught Daisy the song, and Percival was still away. And anytime he asked Daisy she would just say, "No our song," never saying who the our was. She also had a new stuffed animal that she would let go of. He figured it was no harm, but the puzzle of it would kill him sooner or later. There would be a chocolate bribe soon enough.

He had Daisy in the office with him today and she was playing in the corner and he and Merlin were reading the reports of activity from South America.

"Counwy woads, take me home," Daisy began in the corner and Eggsy was ready to commit murder, sick of that one line.

"To the place I belong," Merlin sang automatically, "West Virginia, mountain mama, take me home, country road." He didn't even seem to realize he had done it and Daisy was then quiet and back to her scribbling.

Eggsy sat back in his chair and wondered what had happened while he was gone. He looked at Daisy and Merlin who kept about their business. He whistled the tune and sure enough they both began to sing together.

"Bruv, you teach her that song?" Eggsy asked.

"Hmm?"

"You and her are singing."

Merlin looked over at Daisy who waved at him and held up her tutu Dinosaur. "Dinosaur, roar," they both said. He then looked at Eggsy. "We spent a little time together while ye were away."

"No," she said and laughed hysterically.

"Yes, I remember that that is your favourite word, little one."

"No," she said and laughed some more.

Eggsy stared in complete shock at Merlin's soft smile. Holy fuck, the man was gorgeous. He shook that thought off. "How much time?"

"Sally was sick. I minded her. We went out for a small adventure and she helped me with my paperwork. It was no bother."

"Huh. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It didn't seem especially important. Sally is all better now, and Percival will return soon. She'll forget me soon enough."

Eggsy looked at Daisy, clutching the dinosaur and humming to herself. "Don't think it will work like that. You are stuck with her now."

Merlin shrugged. "Then I'll be stuck." He made some notes on his clipboard and didn't sound in the least put out. "But I hate Peppa," he whispered. 

"Don't worry I do too," Eggsy whispered right back. He didn't make a comment when Merlin went and kissed Daisy's head before leaving.

"He's my fwiend," she told her brother.

"I noticed," he replied. "He's my friend too."

"Good," she nodded. 

"It is, isn't it?" Eggsy replied and then went to colour with her before his next meeting.


	10. Chapter 10

"This is unsettling," Kay said.

"Then drop your gift off and leave," Merlin said. He checked the man's name off the list. "But then no party favour for you. And no ice cream cake."

Key looked at the Kingsman dining room which had been transformed into a fairy castle. "I want a butterfly painted on my cheek."

"Sally is taking care of that, get in line behind Lancelot." Merlin gave him his princess crown and hustled him along.

Percival was next. "Chester would have hated this."

"He would," Merlin relished that feeling.

"James would have strung the fairy lights," Percival added. Merlin went and gave him a hug. Eggsy had infected him and now he was constantly hugging his agents. Percival was holding a large box wrapped in pink with several lollies on the front. "What do you think Harry would have thought about it?"

Merlin looked around at the support staff and agents all giving Daisy a magical party, since she couldn't have her mum or any friends quite yet. Merlin had rented a toddler moon bounce, and there were balloons and face painting and a bean bag toss. The kitchen made an insane amount of food and he had ordered an ice cream cake. Eggsy had protested at the fuss over Daisy but this was as much about the Kingsman showing their respect for their king as it was bringing joy to a little girl who had suffered so much.

"I don't know how Harry would have reacted," Merlin admitted. "Somewhere between joy and horror at the mess it will be." Daisy was giggling and spinning in circles with Eggsy. "This is good for them." Merlin had something in his tone that Percival recognized.

"Orders?" Percival asked quietly.

"His heat will be soon, and we find out if that alpha's call latched on or not." Merlin looked at Percival. "And if it did, it will not last long."

Percival nodded. "Our king will not be burden with personal complications right now, he carries enough weight." 

Merlin gave a nod of his own, the two in complete harmony over this.

"Misser Pewcy!!!" Daisy shouted and came running over. Percival handed his box to Merlin and caught her easily.

"Hello dearest, is it a good party?"

"YES!"

Merlin gasped. "He gets a yes?"

Daisy grinned evilly at Merlin. "No."

Percival. "Sorry, I'm the best, you just have to deal with it, Hamish."

"Who's Hamish?" Daisy asked looking around confused.

"I am little one," Merlin explained.

"No," she said.

"It is my true name, like Daisy is yours."

"No."

"Fisher King is just a title, Daisy," Merlin explained. "Otherwise I am Hamish."

"No," she repeated.

"Oh, then what is my name?" Hamish asked amused. Percival was openly laughing at him.

Daisy looked at him carefully. "Wex. Roar."

"Rex does mean king. Close to Fisher King," Percival offered up.

"Thank you for your help," Merlin said. "Ye can call me Hamish, little one."

"No," she said and she kicked to be put down. "Bye Misser Pewcy, bye bye Wex. Roxy play with me!" She toddled off to wear she saw Roxy who sighed but put on a happy smile and bent to play.

Merlin went and put the gift on the table and check off Percival's name. Every agent was either there or sent a gift. He had created a registry and made it clear to them that their mission would get a little rougher if they were not grandiose enough to reflect how they all felt about the improved and kinder leadership they had been existing under.

Eggsy came over, crown on head, batman symbol painted on his cheek. "So...I think I said tea party with Percival and Roxy, maybe a movie."

Merlin clicked a button and a giant screen rolled from the ceiling. Another button and the My Little Pony Movie began to play. Daisy squealed and ran over to the pillows and flopped down. A few agents who had children drifted over and settled in to watch automatically. "There. Movie."

"How much money did you fucking spend on a two year old's party?" Eggsy asked. 

"She deserved a good day. And so did you." Merlin looked at his clipboard. "I need to check with the kitchen. Pizza bites should be coming out soon. Excuse me." Merlin would have left but he was grabbed in an Eggsy hug. All the agents had learned not to fight it, that makes it last longer and might break a rib. You let the omega hug you for as long as he needed. Merlin watched the alphas in the room look at Eggsy and smile. They all were happy in a we did good way. Eggsy must smell very content right now. 

"Thanks," Eggsy said. He still didn't let go. Merlin sighed and waited. "Hey, bruv, calling you Fisher King right now seems stupid. What should I?"

"Hamish, you can call me Hamish," Merlin replied. He patted Eggsy's hand and Eggsy let go. "Go watch the movie, the pirate birds will be on soon and they are amusing."

"How do you know that?"

"Had to vet the movie before it played for your sister," Merlin said blandly. "I watched it twice." He went to the kitchens.

Eggsy laughed and went to sit with his sister and pulled her into his lap. He never noticed the way all the alphas sat in a circle around them, protecting them. There wasn't a piece of cake left and Daisy said thank you to everyone and helped Merlin hand out the favour bags to each agent. Merlin helped Eggsy bring the gifts back to their suite and they helped Daisy open them and Merlin could see that the two were overwhelmed by being given so much. He kissed Daisy's head and let them be.

***************************************

"I'm fine with a dildo," Eggsy said to the doctor. "Tell them Fisher King." Merlin was quiet. "Merlin?"

"It has been overly long since you have had a heat, Arthur," the doctor explained. "And with the concerns about that alpha grazing your mating gland, it is better for you to have a person than toys for this particular heat. It is more likely to override should any problems occur." The doctor was sympathetic. "Do you have a trusted alpha?"

"Thank you doctor, Arthur and I will handle it from here," Merlin said. The doctor agree and Merlin and Eggsy went to Eggsy's office.

Eggsy sat at his desk. "Not an agent," he said immediately. "It can't be. It changes the dynamics here too much."

"I agree," Merlin replied and watched Eggsy sigh in relief. "Ye thought I'd press on that?"

"No," Eggsy said swiftly. "Or I mean. I know you are trying to think of the safest course of action. My mate Brandon occasionally helped, but he is not an option. Not back there and I can't bring him here." Eggsy tapped his fingers against the desk. "He didn't break the skin."

"He didn't," Merlin concurred. "But stacking the deck in our favour is not the worst idea ever is it?"

"No," Eggsy agreed. "We have Sally to watch Daisy for the three days. What do we do Fisher King?"

"As I said, the Kingsman are patrons of a comfort house. Every person who works there has been thoroughly vetted by our staff. They are paid well, with full benefits, and have chosen the job willingly. I can give you our files on the alphas that work there for you to peruse."

Eggsy bit his lip. "Would you be there?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm going to be out of my head, this long without a heat. I don't care how well vetted it is. I want a room with multiple panic buttons and your eyes on cameras ready to bust in and fuck shit up if it looks like they are going to hurt me, or try to claim me."

"I understand and that can be arranged." Merlin pulled up the various files. "Male of female."

"Male," Eggsy said after a moment.

"Age?"

"Older than me, by at least 10 years," Eggsy decided. He saw the curious look Merlin gave him. "Been with enough my own age, want to shake it up a little bit." They talked more about the options and Merlin showed him some photos. Eggsy finally selected a gentleman.

"I will engage his services. Pay for a week, since we don't know quite when your heat will hit." Merlin tapped on his clipboard and sent a message to the comfort house. They did their other work and soon enough a confirmation came through. "There ye go, the gentleman - Gregory - is engaged for the whole of next week. I've arranged the scheduling, you won't be required for any decisions and missions that will be out are all level one or two threats." 

Eggsy quickly scanned the list. "Percival will be out again?"

"Aye," Merlin said. He pulled up something on the big screen. "It turns out our data on his last mission was wrong, we missed a key player he is going back to do a little clean up."

"Gotcha," Eggsy said. "Okay then, looks like we are all sorted." 

"I'll file everything," Merlin said and stood. He went over and hugged Eggsy. "He...you won't feel his call."

"You sure about that?"

"I am," Merlin agreed.

***********************************************

"This is awkward," Merlin said watching Eggsy through the cameras.

"You think it is awkward?" Percival countered. "I am in a track suit on a bench. I look ready to sell you black tar heroin."

Merlin laughed at that. "Anything to report?"

"They haven't left their flat this morning. Could just be sleeping off a hangover or not moving yet."

Merlin nodded. "Or Dean however weakly could be feeling Eggsy's heat and using Michelle."

Percival hummed an agreement. They silenced communications. Merlin stared at Eggsy who was flushed and sweating. He stripped down and paced the room, naked. Merlin saw that he was hard and already starting to leak slick. He hit the microphones. "What do you need, my king?"

Eggsy jumped a little and looked at the camera up in the corner. He sort of waved before he remembered what Merlin was seeing and quickly covered his cock. "Hey, you got my back?"

"I do," Merlin promised.

"Then I guess enjoy the porn?" Eggsy shrugged a little helpless. "This is weird as fuck."

"Just enjoy the fucking, I'll deal with the weird," Merlin replied and Eggsy giggled and looked adorable. Merlin wondered for the millionth time what the lad's scent was, if he was drenching that room with it enough, that even Merlin would notice it. "Fisher King, out," was all said and turned off his mic.

Gregory entered shortly after and Merlin listened to him soothe the nervous Eggsy. He had been a very good pick. Merlin sipped tea and did some non classified paperwork and watched the events unfold as Eggsy's heat grew. He watched to make sure that Gregory handled it well and carefully and the first wave passed well.

And when Eggsy slipped into a doze he murmured almost too quiet to be heard, "Dean."

It was just one word, and Eggsy had clearly been satisfied by Gregory, and he wasn't trying to leave the room, wasn't looking like there were ill effects. It could have been just said in relief that Dean's alpha wasn't calling for Eggsy. Merlin tapped his glasses. "Engage," he told Percival.

Percival got up from his bench and threw out the bag he had been eating from. He went up the estate and picked the lock on Eggsy's old flat. Merlin watched through Percival's glasses as he went in and closed the door after himself. They could hear Dean grunting and cursing. Percival followed the noise to the bedroom. He opened the door and paused.

"Orders?"

Merlin looked at Dean rutting against Michelle who was a bloody mess. He honestly couldn't even tell if she was breathing. "Do it." 

Percival put a bullet in Dean's head. He put the gun away and put on medical gloves. He lifted Dean's body off of Michelle and checked her pulse. "She's alive."

"Thank you," Michelle said. She blinked blearily at him. "Tell them I'm sorry." Her eyes closed and she passed out.

"Report," Merlin demanded and Percival checked her over and just shook his head. "Is taking her to the A&E a viable option?"

They both watched her breathing go from too quick to too slow and in a few minutes she was gone. Percival put her properly on the bed and covered her up. He said a prayer for her that she would find peace. 

"Finish it," Merlin ordered. He glanced at Eggsy who was sleeping a little easier. Maybe. It didn't really matter, Merlin would leave nothing to chance.

Percival walked around the estate and calmly and efficiently assassinated every major member of Dean's crew. "Done," he said after he snapped Rottie's neck.

"Return to the estate, destroy the gun and your clothes, and then catch that flight to where our king thinks you are supposed to be."

"Understood," Percival agreed and signed off.

Merlin continued to watch Eggsy as he went through his heat, taking illegal drugs to stay awake and alert. In the middle of the second day when Gregory was napping as well, Eggsy awoke and looked at the camera. "You still there?"

Merlin turned on his microphone. "Of course."

"You keeping me safe?"

Merlin was silent for a minute. "More than you will ever realize."

"Thanks," Eggsy yawned. "Enjoying the porn?"

Merlin laughed a little. "Gregory is very handsome." Eggsy pouted, and his eyes filled. An omega in heat needed, craved praise. "Ye are beautiful lad," Merlin said sincerely. "Gregory is lucky to have you in this moment."

Eggsy drifted off. "I don't like knots you know, outside heat. Their dicks are stupid. Betas are nice. Or would be I think. But they never ask me out." He was snoring shortly.

Merlin popped another pill and kept Eggsy safe until the worst was done and they returned to the estate. In the car, Merlin was struggling to stay awake. 

"Guv, fuck did you stay awake the whole time?"

"Keep you safe," Merlin slurred.

"Shit," Eggsy cursed, and clued in that Merlin never had anyone spell him. "Fuck, I'm fucking trash." He tipped Merlin sideways and put the man's head in his lap. Eggsy knew he still smelled a bit but not like it would bother Merlin. "Sleep," he ordered.

As Merlin drifted off, for a second he thought he almost caught a hint of Eggsy's scent. But it was probably a dream.


	11. Chapter 11

"Eggsy," Roxy said softly and sat next to him. "Eggsy." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged.

Eggsy gripped her hand and lifted it to his mouth, kissed the palm and didn't say anything just let her hug him. He knew what she was here to say. It was time to get up, to get home, to get to work. But he couldn't. He had tried, but every time he did, he couldn't get his legs to move. He wasn't sure if they were numb from grief or numb because he had been sitting on his mother's grave for so long. He stared at the simple headstone and the lovely flowers around it. The Kingsman had done real good by his mum. Well almost real well. He had seen the police reports and when he could form the right words he was talking to people. But his words were as numb as his legs. God his scent was disgusting right now, he wondered how Roxy could cope with it. But the way she was hugging and nuzzling, she was trying to soothe as best she could.

"Can you get up?" she asked quietly.

Eggsy shook his head. He left his mum before and look what happened. He couldn't leave again.

"Okay," Roxy said. She stayed beside him for an hour, rubbing his back, talking quietly about nothing in particular. 

He gave her hand a squeeze. "Thanks, Rox. You're the best you know. Go on home." The sun was moving in the sky. It wasn't evening yet but it was getting close enough.

"I am staying." He had no clue just how distressed his scent was and every alpha instinct she had was screaming that he needed to be protected.

"No, Roxy," Eggsy said.

"Eggsy -"

"Lancelot, stand down," Eggsy said firmly. "Don't...please don't make me make it an order."

Roxy gave him a tight squeeze. "You know we are monitoring you right?"

"Can see the bloody camera in the tree," Eggsy said. "Now go on with you."

Roxy got up and her knee ached, she had jammed it good on her last mission. "Eggsy, I'm so sorry for your loss," was all she managed to say.

"Thanks, babe. I'll see you back at the estate." Eggsy adjusted how he was sitting on the ground a little, his Kingsman suit was going to be rather ruined. Not that he gave a fuck, his mum was rather ruined as well. He plucked a flower off a wreath and began to strip the petals off of it and they scattered over the grave. He rather liked the look of it and one by one took all the yellow flowers off the wreath and covered the grave with the petals. "Pretty blanket for a pretty mum," Eggsy said. "Daisy looks like you. Think she'll grow up as pretty as you. Would have liked to have you see it, Mum. Now you'll see nothing." He added some more petals and just sat and stared at the headstone. He wished he would cry, and he supposed his scent was but it would be better if there were actual tears. Tears would help right now, let out the grief. That's the crap they said on the telly anyways. He stripped more flowers from the stems.

A couple hours later Percival settled in next to him. "I'm not going anywhere," Eggsy said.

Percival handed him a thermos. "You can wee behind that tree over there, you won't hit a grave." He pointed. "It's just some broth."

"Rather a giant whisky."

Percival took the thermos and handed him a flask. 

"Thanks, bruv." Eggsy took a sip and choked on the burn but managed to swallow the mouthful. He was then handed a different thermos that had a strong as fuck tea in it. "Perfect," he admitted. He looked at him. "I know it was you."

"Oh?" Percival asked calmly.

"You killed Dean and all them."

"I read the reports, none were killed with a sniper rifle." Percival sipped the broth a little. The sky was growing dark and there was a chill in the air. "That is my preferred method of work, as well you know."

"Doesn't mean it is your only," Eggsy replied and drank some more tea. "Was she...did you...fuck if you answer the questions I'm thinking in my head, I'm going to have to kill you. So do I even ask them?" Eggsy looked at Percival and anger started to seep into the sadness that was enveloping him. "Agent Percival, what do I ask you right now?"

Percival met his gaze. "My name is Alistair."

"I know."

"As Alistair, as a man who is growing closer to you, to considering you as a dear friend, I mourn with you. The loss of a parent is a heavy grief to carry, and more so when you didn't have time to prepare. As Percival I will tell you, sometimes my duty is to protect my king, because protecting him protects the world."

"She was the world, why didn't you protect her?" Eggsy said. "Why didn't you take her to the hospital. You coulda killed the rest later, why didn't you help her?"

"Her body was too broken Eggsy. I read the autopsy report. Even if I had, they couldn't have done anything. She had been bleeding internally, slowly for a week from a perforated liver. He was...well I stopped him in time that she was able to say she was sorry."

"She had nothing to be sorry for," Eggsy bit his lip and tasted blood.

"She wasn't alone, and she knew that someone cared, sir. That is more than we will get."

"She deserved better."

"Most people do," Percival commented. He drank a little more of the broth and sat quietly beside Eggsy. He didn't touch or cuddle like Roxy had but his presence was a comfort.

"Not leaving yet," Eggsy warned.

"I brought you a sleeping bag."

"Thanks," Eggsy let himself lean against Percival just a little. "I kinda hate what you did. But I also get it and when I can properly think again, I am going to be okay with it."

Percival took a chance and hugged him. "We do what me must Arthur."

"Eggsy yeah? Can we be Eggsy and Alistair for a few minutes? Could use a friend."

"Of course, Eggsy," Percival agreed. They sat together and soon enough it was full dark. "I should go, I promised Daisy I'd tuck her in."

"Shit," Eggsy said.

"Do not worry, we have her well in hand," Percival promised. "Focus on yourself." He stood and gathered everything but the sleeping bag and a lantern into his bag and stood.

"He didn't come to the funeral," Eggsy said. "So much for us being friends."

"We both know I wasn't the finger on the trigger, not really," Percival chided gently. "I believe he thought himself unwelcome in your grief."

Eggsy didn't have an answer for that and didn't say goodbye. The night grew late and cool as clouds rolled through the sky and eventually he wrapped himself in the sleeping bag. He still didn't cry. He had to turned on the camp lantern because being alone in a cemetery at midnight was creepy. He took a wee behind the tree Percival had pointed out and kept sitting there even as the drizzle of rain started. He could pretend it was tears you see.

He sighed when the umbrella covered his head. He didn't look over. It was a different lack of scent with Merlin, he realized he could pick it out now. Odd but he knew blindfold him in a room with 100 neutralized scents, he'd be able to recognize the absence of scent that was Merlin. "Pull up some ground Fisher King," Eggsy said after a few minutes of Merlin just hovering there. He nodded when Merlin settled in next to him. "You killed my mum."

Merlin nodded. "Perhaps."

"That's all you can say?" Eggsy looked at him in shock. "I thought you'd deny it, say the abuse Dean lay on her killed her. Wot the fuck?"

"In killing Dean, we severed their connection," Merlin replied calmly. "In her weakened and abused state it may have sealed the deal."

"So if like Percival had just knocked him out, he coulda got Mum to the hospital and maybe they could have healed her, fixed up that internal bleeding."

"Maybe, but it is doubtful. With the state she was in, it was more likely they would have made her comfortable until she slipped into a coma and you had to make a choice."

"But I would have made it. Not you," Eggsy snapped. "It wasn't your call."

"It was," Merlin replied, still calm. "You asked me to keep you safe during your heat. And I did just that."

"Huh?"

"I can show ye the footage, but the first time you fell asleep, you said Dean's name."

"Did I ask for him once?" Eggsy pressed. Merlin shook his head. "Did I beg for him, say his name beyond that?" Merlin shook his head again. "You didn't have to do it."

"And she would have been dead by morning, and Dean and his crew would have been alive and he could have gone to court and pressed for the return of Daisy."

"Like he woulda," Eggsy sneered. "Don't try to reason shit away."

"I'm not, I'm stating a possibility," Merlin said. "Just like you calling his name had the possibility to become more, to become a threat. Percival in killing Dean let your mother not be in agony for the rest of her life, for the few hours it would have likely been. You are safe, Daisy is safe, that neighbourhood for a moment is a little safer. The loss of your mother is painful, but by every measure, I took the correct course of action."

"If you believe that then why weren't you at my side while some stranger talked about her being in a better place and all that crap I don't believe in?"

"Because you don't believe that," Merlin said. "And I didn't want to impose on you, and -"

"And what, you are a fucking coward?"

"And I was hurting too," Merlin said.

"Really my dead mother hurt you? Tell me how?" Eggsy yelled.

"I have no grave to visit for my father, we scattered his ashes in the woods. And I have a plague on the west wall of the estate for Harry, I never got his body back. And when my mother dies, I will not be her last thought, like you were for Michelle." Merlin shrugged. "I was a coward, that I let my own grief overwhelm me, but ye know I am shite at all this."

Eggsy remembered the file. "Do you see her, your mum?"

"Aye, every Wednesday, I go and sit and have breakfast with her," Merlin said. "Ye know, last month she remembered me. Asked how my university classes were going and did I have a letter from Harry in the army. First time in three months I wasn't just a sweet gent to sit with an old lady." Merlin's grip on the umbrella bobbled a little. "And one day I'll get a call that she is moved to a hospital and if I can I will sit with her and say goodbye and hope maybe she'll know me, and then bury her next to Harry's father."

Eggsy wiped away his tears. "Fuck bruv, you ever think you and I maybe we were just born for tragedy?"

"I'm a Scots, Eggsy. Suffering is just expected."

Eggsy laughed a little and began to sob. He crawled out of his sleeping bag and into Merlin's lap, surprising the man. But he needed to be held. Merlin adjusted the umbrella and wrapped an arm around Eggsy and sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot and a few other songs, while Eggsy poured his grief out onto Merlin. Eventually the tears petered out and Eggsy burrowed into the man. "I'm tired of grieving, Hamish."

"I know," Merlin agreed. He held Eggsy gently.

"I just...my heart has a hole and it keeps getting bigger and bigger and what if I become hollow?"

"Daisy's laugh," Merlin said. "That the Kingsman hug ye back now. Arsenal remember how to actually play footie. Ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. That ye are a good king, and a good man. Fill the hole with those thoughts."

"Arsenal suck."

"To my great pain they regularly do," Merlin agreed. Eggsy gave a watery laugh. "It feels like it, but I promise ye, Eggsy, ye were not born for tragedy. Your heart doesn't have a hole. You were meant for joy."

"How can you be sure?"

"I am the Fisher King, I just know things. All this grief, all this pain? It will be balanced. Dawn always comes."

"I need to see it," Eggsy said.

"Very well," Merlin agreed. He stretched out his legs and Eggsy settled between them. Eggsy talked of his mother, good memories, and bad ones. Merlin shared stories of his own mum, and of Harry. They were both tired and the wind was blowing so the umbrella didn't completely shield them. But eventually the sky began to lighten, just a little. "See, dawn comes, Eggsy." Merlin looked down and realized that the lad had fallen asleep against him at some point. "Agents," he said softly. All the Kingsman walked over from where they had passed the night in cars, waiting for orders. Roxy took the umbrella and carefully held it over Eggsy.

Percival pulled Eggsy up and looked at Merlin. Merlin stood, legs and back in agony. But he reached out and Percival passed over Eggsy. Merlin picked the lad up and stumbled for a minute until he could steady the weight. He carried Eggsy to a waiting car, a ring of agents around them.

Eggsy woke up a few hours later in his bed, Daisy beside him. "Sad?" she asked, smelling it on him.

He pulled her in for a hug. "Yeah, sweetie, I am."

Daisy planted a wet kiss on his cheek. "All better." She blew a rasberry and giggled.

Eggsy let the noise fill his heart, like Merlin suggested. "Yeah," he said. "You make it all better."

The next Wednesday when Merlin was walking to the door of the nursing home, Eggsy was standing there in a shirt and trousers. "Thought maybe your mum might like two nice gents to have breakfast with," he said. It was the only way he could think to say thank you to Merlin.

Merlin paused and gave a sad smile. "Thank ye, Eggsy." They walked in together, and Eggsy brushed his hand against Merlin's as Merlin took a few deep breaths before opening the door to his mother's room. He opened the door, "Mum, this is Eggsy. He'd like to have breakfast with us."


	12. Chapter 12

Eggsy touched him palm to the scanner and it again beeped red and denied him access to his office. A third time net the same results. He tapped the side of his glasses. "Merlin? I can't access my office."

"Odd," Merlin replied. Eggsy could hear typing. "Huh," the voice said. "Someone manually locked the office. The only people who could do that are me and well..."

"The former Merlin," Eggsy finished. "Thank you Merlin, that is all."

"Of course, sir. He's headed towards you."

Eggsy leaned against the wall and there came Merlin only he didn't have his clipboard. "Bruv, wanna explain why you locked me out of my own office?"

"Aye, it is nae your office today," Merlin said.

"Is there a problem?" Eggsy asked concerned.

"Ye haven't had a day off," Merlin replied. "You have been working yourself to the bone between being Arthur and sole care giver for Daisy. No missions are critical, hell more than half the agents are currently at home. We were doing budgets and analysis which can wait a day."

"I've had plenty of breaks," Eggsy protested.

"Longer than two hours?" Merlin countered. He waited smug.

"Day I buried my mum," Eggsy finally answered. "Took more than two hours then didn't I?"

"That hardly counts as time off, Arthur."

"I say it does, I was useless to my agents that day, so that's rather a day off from the job, innit?" Eggsy crossed his arms.

"A broken heart, is not a day off," Merlin said quietly. "And that was over a month ago now. Eggsy, ye insist your agents take time off, do you not owe yourself the same care?"

Eggsy opened his mouth and then closed it again. "I have to keep them alive and well."

"And you do," Merlin agreed. "And now, today, you keep yourself alive and well, as well. Go out, have some fun, see your old friends. Do whatever you want, so long as it isn't here."

"Fine," Eggsy said. "But just one day, yeah?"

"6am tomorrow you will be able to access your office again," Merlin swore.

"Day off huh?"

"One day," Merlin said. 

Eggsy nodded. "Guess I need to change then." Eggsy walked back to the suite and changed into a track suit and looked out the window. He could see the nanny and Daisy playing in the corner of the garden that had a toddler play gym set up. He thought about going down but figured Merlin would then forcibly put him on the bullet train. He took it to London and stepped out of the store and wondered what the hell his was supposed to do. He leaned against the wall while he thought about it.

Merlin was feeling a little smug, he wasn't going to lie. He headed to his office and ran through the list of everything he wanted to get done. He put his palm to the lock and started forward, only the door didn't open. He tried again and saw the same message that Eggsy would have. "What the hell?"

"Do we need go through everything you just did with Eggsy?" Percival asked with Merlin standing behind him biting a nail. "And do not intimidate your former assistant. This was my idea. Well technically it was your idea, I'm just implementing it." Percival stared and Merlin stared back.

"I'm going to die," the young Merlin whispered as the two men continued to stare at each other.

Finally Merlin just nodded and handed his clipboard to Merlin. "Very well," he said tersely and walked away.

Merlin collapsed against Percival who caught the poor young man. "Never again," Merlin begged.

"Sorry, but they need such looking after. Get yourself a cuppa, you did well." Percival hugged the young man and then headed for the range.

Merlin stepped out of the shop. "Eggsy?" he said surprised.

Eggsy looked at him helpless. "What do you did with a day off Fisher King?"

"Well, ye call me Hamish, to start," Merlin suggested. "And go see your friends."

"Ain't seen a lot of them since...well for a while. It's hard to talk to them, I don't know where I fit now." Eggsy shrugged. "Why are you here?"

"I have the day off as well it seems," Merlin smiled a little fondly, a lot exasperated.

"Right. Well I'm just going to head...that way," Eggsy said. He nodded and started to walk.

"I am going to one of my favourite places in the city," Merlin called after Eggsy. "Ye can join me, since you have no plans."

"You aren't sick of me?"

"Who could be sick of you?" Merlin asked sincerely. He started to walk and was quietly pleased when Eggsy joined him. They didn't talk but walked close and took the tube and walked some more before stopping in front of some old townhouses. "Excellent," Merlin said, staring at the front.

"Sir John Soane Museum?" Eggsy asked. "A museum, really?"

"Trust me," Merlin replied and went in. Eggsy pulled out his wallet and Merlin shook his head. "Free, they ask donations. You can decide if the place is worth it at the end." 

Eggsy shrugged and followed Merlin. "So what's in here?"

"A little bit of everything," Merlin replied. "Beyond maintenance nothing has changed in terms of structure and appearance since Sir John Soane gave this all to the British nation." He walked into the first main area.

"Holy shit, this is like a hoarders museum," Eggsy stared at the crowded space.

Merlin laughed. There were other people about but it wasn't packed. The museum was seldom crowded everyone at the Victoria and Albert, or a Portrait Gallery. A museum worker smiled and waved at Merlin, he was well known in the halls. "There are less crowded rooms. This place is a treasure trove. I've been here a hundred times and I always see something new."

They walked around sometimes together, sometimes drifting apart. Eggsy liked the quiet and how close you could get to everything. You couldn't touch but few things were behind glass or ropes. A bloody roman statue and he was inches away, seeing chisel marks. "Bloody hell," he said and looked to call over Merlin. But the man was gone. Eggsy didn't rush to find him, but walked around knowing they'd meet up again.

Merlin was moving the walls that let him look at The Rake's Progress by Hogarth. He felt Eggsy come up next to him. "A tale of an omega with too much freedom, falls to disgrace, at least how the historian's describe it. How the artist described it."

"Do you?"

"I know little of art, beyond what I like."

"And you like this?"

"No, not at all," Merlin replied. "But it is compelling, the style, the pain...the fear. And -"

"And?" Eggsy moved a little closer, intrigued. This was a Merlin he didn't know.

Merlin can't quite explain it. "He chose though. It led to ruin, to hell, but every step, he chose. It is supposed to be a repudiation, and to strike fear into hearts of those who don't follow the family alpha, or a mate. But at least he chose his own ruin, instead of it being chosen for him."

"It drove him mad, according to the description."

"Wouldn't a cage drive you just as mad?" Merlin asked.

Eggsy brushed his neck, thought of someone biting him. Thought of how that bite would chain him to someone and could even end his life. "Yeah. It would."

"Come on, there is happy art in here too," Merlin promised. They walk through the rest of the room and end up in the library. 

"So why is this your favourite?" Eggsy asked. "Place is brilliant, yeah? But why here?"

Merlin looked around the room. "Harry told you about the history of the Kingsman? Fortunes languishing with no heirs to claim them, dead in barren fields and trenches. This museum? John Soane hated his sons so much he spent all his money on these artifacts and bequethed it all to Britain so they could have none of it. His son tried to contest this, argue his father mad and it was dismissed."

"Fuck me, that is cold," Eggsy said in awe.

"Ice cold," Merlin agreed. "I like the contrast to the Kingsman. And that this act of pettiness gave so much to the city. All this untouched for so many years, for so many to experience and enjoy. The Kingsman are supposed to be the height of honour and selflessness. I like the idea of being able to give of yourself while also being a bit of a bastard."

Eggsy barked out a laugh at that and then clapped his hand over his mouth. "That's fucking perfect, Hamish. Jesus that is perfect."

Merlin gave him a grin and they finished at the museum, both dropping a fair bit into the donation box.

"I'm coming back," Eggsy said once outside. "I liked it."

"I'm glad," Merlin replied. Eggsy's hands were relaxed, hanging easily. A good indication the lad was happy. "Usually I go for tea now."

"I could go for tea," Eggsy agreed. "You have a usual place?"

"Aye, but you will laugh," Merlin said.

"Probably. Take me anyways?" Eggsy smiled at him. "Come on, dare you."

Merlin nodded and they walked a little to a small tea place on a corner. Floral wallpaper, and little old ladies, and actual doilies. Merlin is a little tense and Eggsy can't stop the smile on his face. "I love it," he said sincerely.

"Best tea cakes ever," Merlin promised.

They sat at a table far too small for them and after enough kicks and nudges, Merlin just bracketed Eggsy's legs with his and Eggsy went still. They ordered different teas, Eggsy intrigued by the chocolate tea, and Merlin going for the Sherlock Holmes special. They also ordered a tray of tea cakes. Merlin looked at Eggsy's face. "Just say it. Whatever you are thinking." He waited to be made fun of.

"You're just a normal bloke," Eggsy said.

Merlin blinked. That was not at all what he expected. "I'm sorry?"

"Hamish, he's just a normal guy," Eggsy repeated. "Museums and tea on his day off? Maybe the cinema yeah?" Merlin nodded in agreement. "Just what anyone else would do. How did I not see you were a normal guy?"

"You are used to me in very abnormal situations," Merlin said after a minute. "I'm not normal."

"No, but you are," Eggsy said. "Does that...so I could be normal too." Eggsy went quiet as their items were put on the table. "Thanks," he said softly and poured out from his tiny teapot and Merlin did the same. He took a sip and thought it was actually pretty good. "I was burning out," Eggsy admitted. "I've not been sleeping."

"The giant bags under your eyes certainly don't give that away," Merlin said and took a cake. "Nor the amount of coffee ye have been drinking."

"Ha ha." Eggsy said. "I'm young, and I'm in charge by dumb fucking luck and have been busting my arse to make sure no one regrets it."

"Not an agent does. Merlin doesn't. I do not," Merlin said.

"And add in being whatever I am to Daisy?"

"Everything, ye are everything to her."

"Which is a whole other level of terror." Eggsy poked at a few things before picking a biscuit. "I was burying myself." He looked around the little shop. "Day off isn't so bad is it?"

"No it isn't," Merlin agreed. He sighed. "Great. I owe Percival and Merlin a thank you for forcing me out as well."

Eggsy paused. "Yeah, wait a minute. You are a super work guy."

Merlin put his tea cup aside. "A secret, I'm really not?"

"Wot? During training you were always watching. And quartermastering. And look at everything you do for me."

"I've been working too hard to help you, yes," Merlin said. "But before, I was pretty balanced. I worked long hours in a day yes, but I made sure every four days I was off for one or two."

"Bullshit," Eggsy challenged.

"Swear down," Merlin replied, copying Eggsy's tone on the words and Eggsy laughed at that. "Ye thought I was always there but think about it. Really think about your training."

Eggsy fiddled with his tea cup. He remembered class after class, and the tests, but yeah there were days they didn't see Merlin at all. "Huh, guess I just thought you were busy."

"I was, but I also took breaks."

"Breaks are nice," Eggsy said. "This is nice."

"It is nice to have company."

"Tea leaves read? 10 quid, 15 if you both do it," a woman offered. Her scent was sweet, enticing. Eggsy figured probably drew people in but he didn't care and Merlin couldn't smell it at all. 

"Sorry luv, make my own fortune," Eggsy replied.

"I'll have them read," Merlin said.

"What the fuck?" Eggsy really didn't expect that.

Merlin handed over ten quid and the woman stared at the bottom of the cup. "Hmm," she said. She poured in drop more of tea and swirled. "Great tragedy recently."

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, kinda the whole world was tragic." He winced when Merlin kicked him.

She ignored him. "It is okay to be happy," she said. "He'd want you to be happy. You need to just let it in." She looked at Merlin. "It isn't wrong to reach for your happiness. And there is such potential happiness for you, one day. Grab it before it walks away. You might not get a second chance." She swirled the cup again. "Something lost will be found soon." One last swirl. "You may regret that is found."

"All that vagueness in a few leaves, wow," Eggsy snarked. She glared at him and picked up his cup. "I ain't paying you shit," he warned.

She swirled the cup. "Free of charge, luv," she said. Her scent was no longer pleasant, but hard. She turned the cup three times in her hand. "Interesting," she said. She leaned in and whispered to Eggsy and Eggsy paled.

Merlin palmed a knife ready to attack, but she walked away. Eggsy looked shaken. "Eggsy?"

Eggsy looked at Merlin in confusion. "It's all fake, she just wanted to get a rise out of me." He didn't sound certain, though.

"Tell me," Merlin said.

Eggsy shook himself a bit, collected himself. "Nah, it was nothing," he said. "Just a con."

"Of course it is," Merlin agreed. "But an amusing one."

"You don't believe?" Eggsy was relieved.

"Nae, it is crap," Merlin laughed. "Just a fun add on to the day."

Eggsy felt himself relax. Yeah it was nothing. "Right. Well next I want to do some shopping. Daisy is growing out of her clothes faster than I can keep her in them. What will you do?"

Merlin is hesitant. "Join you? I have no other plans."

"Sure," Eggsy said easily and they went shopping, buying too much for Daisy, and Merlin found a wallet he liked, and Eggsy indulged in a few snapbacks. They only returned to the estate at dinner time.

Both were completely relaxed.

Eggsy was heading to his rooms and paused. "Next day off, we should do like the Tower or something. I hear it is fun."

"That sounds enjoyable," Merlin agreed. They both smiled and then made their goodbye for the rest of the evening.

Eggsy spent the night with Daisy all cuddled up and watching cartoons and later long after she was asleep and he was enjoying the memory of the day, the tea leaf lady's words came back to him.

_Love is going to stand before you and be perfect. A fucking perfect happy ever after fairy tale love. And you'll be a coward and turn away from it. You will look it in the eye and kill it dead._

Eggsy rolled over. Like Merlin said it was all just crap. No tea leaf knew his future.

He knew his future. The Kingsman. His perfect Daisy. And maybe another day off with Merlin. 

It was a good future, he figured. Better than he could have dreamt of before.

Before Harry. And Eggsy realized just how long it had been since he had even thought of Harry. That all the thought of Harry had been replaced with Hamish.

Eggsy spent hours awake wondering what that meant.


	13. Chapter 13

"Fisher King?" Eggsy asked.

"Yes, Arthur?" Merlin replied. He was managing to be both pale and flushed at the same time but his voice sounded normal.

"You okay?" 

"Of course. Now then Bedievere is due to -" Merlin swallowed heavily and took a breath. He blinked. "What were we talking about, my king?"

"Bruv, what the - oh fuck!" Eggsy cursed as Merlin dropped to the ground. He slapped the wall to the public comms system. "Medical, the Fisher King has passed out. Alert, fucking get here!" he shouted and ran to Merlin. He touched the man's forehead and cursed at how hot it was. "Jesus," he said and tried to pick him up, to get him to medical, but the guy was a brick of dead weight.

The head doctor and two nurses came running in and pushed Eggsy out of they way. In seconds they had Merlin up and on a gurney and moving, Eggsy had to chase after them, and got a door slammed in his face. He started to pace the hall, ready to freak out.

"Eggsy," Roxy called. "Eggsy!"

Eggsy stopped and looked at her and wondered how many times she had said his name. "Merlin's all wrong," Eggsy's scent was worried, terrified.

Roxy pulled him in and nuzzled him, trying to soothe him but the scent of a comforting alpha freaked him out too much. Eggsy was starting to hate the scent of alphas around him. He spent so much time with Merlin, had grown used to that absence of scent that all alphas were beginning to feel like a trap, like a prison of scent. Roxy let him push away and go back to pacing. "Tell me what happened," she said.

"He didn't look good but we were having our mission debrief and he forgot what we were talking about and then just dropped down," Eggsy began to bite a nail. "I think he had a heart attack or stroke. He's fifty yeah, with a stressful job. I killed him. Oh god I killed the Fisher King," Eggsy said and his scent went bitter as he began to hyperventilate. "I killed him by not learning the job fast enough, by still relying on his too much. Fuck, what am I going to do without him?" Eggsy curled into a ball on the ground against the wall.

Roxy crouched next to him but was careful not to touch him, the scent he was pouring off would keep any alpha away. "Honey, I doubt he's dead, he was breathing right?" Eggsy nodded. "And you know we have a brilliant medical team."

"I need more time with him," Eggsy whispered.

"You could get by, you know the job, you are a great Arthur," she reassured. Eggsy was so worried about doing right by them, but he was doing brilliantly.

Eggsy just shook his head, not wanting to explain what he meant. Not sure he could explain what he meant.

The doctor came out of the room and they stood up. "He can have one of my kidneys," Eggsy blurted out. "Or a lung. Does he need a lung?"

"He has the flu," the doctor said calmly.

Eggsy nodded and just kept nodding. "Right, okay. So he's going to need a kidney then."

The doctor grew worried. "It is the flu Arthur, that generally doesn't need a kidney transplant."

"No but see I'm going in there and carving out his kidneys for scaring me like that. And then you can give him one of mine to make up for it." Eggsy started for the door and Roxy stepped in front of him.

"Breathe, Eggsy," she said. "I know you were scared but perhaps organ removal is a bit over the top?"

The doctor nodded in agreement. "He came to and admitted that he spent most of last night vomiting. He was incredibly dehydrated and exhausted. He is on a drip and is ordered to bed rest for 48 hours. I'd let him go to a room, but it is doubtful he would stay put, so I'm keeping him."

"Can I see him?" Eggsy asked.

"Will you be assaulting my patient?" the doctor asked.

"No." Eggsy made a face at the look he got. "Okay, maybe going to yell at him a bit to take better care of himself."

"That is acceptable," the doctor agreed and he and Roxy stepped out of the way.

Eggsy walked into the room and damn but Merlin was paler than his sheets.

"My apologies, Arthur," Merlin said slowly. "We can finish the meeting."

"No we aren't, what the fuck Fisher King?" Eggsy stared at him.

"You need..." Merlin began coughing and tried to reach for the bedpan. Eggsy grabbed it and held it while Merlin threw up. "Missions, planning," he was sick some more.

Eggsy found himself rubbing Merlin's back. "Shh, bruv, don't worry about it. We are weeks ahead on most stuff, and nothing goes crit for a couple days."

"Can't let ye down," Merlin said. He had a last cough but seemed to be done for the moment. He collapsed against the bed. "Bring me my clipboard."

Eggsy put the bedpan down well away from them and smacked Merlin's shoulder. "NO!" he yelled. "Jesus, bruv, you are not working two seconds after you sicked up your stomach lining." Merlin opened his mouth and Eggsy jammed a straw in it. "Just two sips to make your mouth not feel like a dumpster fire." He took it away after two small swallows. "I can't believe you were stupid enough to come into my office when you were this sick."

"I don't get sick," Merlin said.

Eggsy waved his hand around the medical room, pointed at the i.v. in Merlin's arm. "This seems pretty sick to me!"

"Don't bother me with pesky details, I'm fine, just get me out of here."

"Are you mental? You are all messed up and need the rest. I'm not overriding the doctor."

"I hate the medical wing!" Merlin shouted, which just caused him to cough and sick up the bit of water he had drunk all over himself. "Goddammit," he cursed. He struggled to get the medical gown off. 

Eggsy went over and began to untie it. "Here," he said softly. It was designed to be easily changed around an i.v. and Eggsy got it off and tossed it over to where he had put the bedpan. He looked at Merlin. "Fuck, how many abs do you have?" The bedding had pooled at Merlin's waist and Eggsy just stared at the strong shoulders and flat stomach.

"Too many, they all hurt right now," Merlin replied. He gestured to the cupboard and Eggsy just kept staring. "Eggsy the room is freezing."

Eggsy pulled himself together and went over and came back with the new gown and helped Merlin put it on. He tucked the blankets carefully around Merlin and felt his forehead. "Hot," he said.

"Aye, there is perhaps a bit of a fever," Merlin admitted, thoroughly exhausted just from the clothes change.

"But you don't need to be in medical."

"Hate it," Merlin repeated and yawned. "Hours in it. Watching over Harry, waiting to see if he would die. Others too. Chester never cared. So I did. Prayed in that chair there too many times." He was drifting off. "Not dying, but don't have anyone to pray for me anymore." Merlin fell into a fitful sleep.

Eggsy went and sat in the chair. "Not really the praying sort, Hamish, but I can sit here well enough." He sat and watched Merlin sleep, heard the man call out for Harry, beg his brother not to leave him. He sobbed in his sleep until Eggsy nudged closer and held his hand and wiped the tears away. The couple times Merlin woke up to be sick, Eggsy shooed the nurses away and helped him out. He owed Merlin for the way the man had watched over him during his heat. But late in the night, Eggsy rested his head on the bed next to Merlin's hand, not fully noticing that he fell asleep kissing Merlin's fingers.

In the morning, Merlin felt a bit better, though his fingers were a bit numb. He looked down to see that they were a bit trapped under Eggsy's head. "Eggsy," he whispered but the lad just kept snoring and even drooled a little.

The nurse came in and quietly changed the i.v. "Arthur would not leave you," she whispered.

"What a strange boy," Merlin said looking down at him.

"Not so much," she replied. "Plain toast in 30 minutes."

Merlin nodded and eased his hand out from under Eggsy which woke him up. Eggsy looked around the room. "Bwha?"

"Ye fell asleep," Merlin said. "God your back must be killing you."

"25, stiff but a shower and I'll be right as rain." Eggsy looked at him. "You look less like death."

"Feeling better, Eggsy," Merlin replied. "Weak though."

"Yeah, recovery from flu sometimes worse than the flu itself, innit?" Eggsy stood up and stretched. "Right. Showering then I'll be back."

"That is unnecessary," Merlin said. "I'll be fine, especially if someone brings me some work."

"No, Arthur orders," Eggsy said. "You are resting today so you can be sprung tomorrow. And I'm coming back."

"I'll be fine," Merlin tried to protest.

"Yeah you would be, but haven't you noticed? We're finer together." Eggsy bit his lip a bit. "You know what I mean."

"I think I do, aye," Merlin said softly. 

"Good." Eggsy hurried out of the room.

Merlin ate the dry toast that was brought and was relieved when it stayed down. Eggsy returned with Daisy who wanted to visit and Merlin found himself colouring with the lass and they sang country roads again and again. He grew tired and Eggsy called the nanny to take Daisy away but wouldn't leave even though Merlin was clearly going to have a nap. 

Eggsy settled in and read and listened when Merlin again in his sleep begged Harry to stay alive. Eggsy stood up and went over and kissed Merlin's head. "Fuck I wish my scent could soothe you," Eggsy whispered. He leaned his cheek on Merlin's head for just a moment before stepping away. He returned to the chair and pretended to read some more but mostly watched Merlin sleep.

Later Eggsy got into a fight with the doctor when the doctor said that Merlin could switch to one of the rooms at the estate, insisting Merlin needed more care.

"He is recovering quickly," the doctor said. "And he is likely to sleep better in one of the rooms."

"He needs looking after!" Eggsy protested.

"Then look after him," the doctor snapped fed up after 30 minutes of arguing with Arthur.

"Fine I will!" Eggsy snapped back. He knew his scent was aggressive and didn't really care. "Come on Merlin, you are bunking with Daisy and I tonight."

"There is nae a spare bed," Merlin said.

"Sure but I can kip on the sofa and it seems I have to do medical's job for them." 

"Eggsy, I'll be -"

"Arthur orders his Fisher King to slowly move his arse to my suite." Eggsy glared and crossed his arms. The doctor rolled his eyes where the two couldn't see it. Merlin decided not to fight it and followed Eggsy to the rooms.

Daisy was thrilled with having a sleepover. "Wex! Yay!"

"Yes miss, yay," he agreed dryly.

"No," she said and laughed and Merlin laughed with her. 

Eggsy insisted that he get into the bed that the walk from medical was too much and Daisy climbed up too and she and Merlin had a very serious conversation and Merlin read her a book and Eggsy watched them, with a happy but odd feeling in his heart. He made Merlin eat some broth and they all cuddled and watched a movie. "Happy after," Daisy said at the end.

"Aye, lass, happy ever after is a wonderful thing."

Daisy grinned at him. "No," they both said at the same time and giggled.

There was a knock at the door and Percival came in. "Pardon me for interrupting family time, but Merlin could use your aid, Arthur."

Eggsy immediately got up and Merlin made to move. "Nu-uh. You stay put. Daisy sit on him until I get back." 

Daisy clapped and dropped onto Merlin who groaned at the weight on his sore muscles. Eggsy hurried out with Percival and down to the offices. "Wait," Eggsy said. "Why'd you call it family time?"

"I didn't," Percival replied.

"Sure you did."

"No, you are mistaken," Percival said. He looked at Eggsy. "Must be your imagination."

"Right," Eggsy said slowly. "Because Merlin isn't family."

"No of course. The three of you in there in no way looked like a unit."

"No way," Eggsy agreed, a bit confused. He went in and saw Merlin typing madly. "Bedievere?" Eggsy asked.

"Yup," Merlin agreed and the two men got to work. It took hours and when he returned to the suite, he saw Daisy in her pajamas all cuddled with Merlin instead of in her space. He was too tired to put her where she belonged and crawled into bed with them. Daisy automatically rolled towards Eggsy's scent and Merlin chased her missing weight until they were all piled together. Eggsy's last thought before drifting off was that they weren't a unit. 

But maybe he was starting to wish that they were.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wasn't it nice that there were two happy chapters?

It was one of the rare times that Eggsy saw Merlin at a loss for words. He enjoyed it, just a little, but couldn't smile. This was too serious a conversation. "Fisher King?" Eggsy asked. Merlin was still being quiet.

"I don't understand," Merlin said finally. He looked at his clipboard, at the screen. "Kentucky is nowhere on our schedule."

Eggsy shook his head. "I know." He got up from behind his desk and went to the sofa. He scrubbed his hand over his face. "When you were sick, you kept calling for Harry. And I sometimes dream about him, nasty ghoulish things about him haunting me."

"He would never be so ungentlemanly as to haunt ye lad," Merlin reassured.

"I know," Eggsy replied. "I do."

"But."

"But," Eggsy agreed. "You hate that you never got to say goodbye. And I do too." Eggsy looked at the mission briefings. "Things are quiet and fairly stable right now. Merlin with Percival's assistance could handle four days. I want to go to Kentucky."

"He won't be there, lad, his body will long be burned."

"I know," Eggsy looked at Merlin. "But I need to stand there, to see that church. To say goodbye. It's not for Kingsman, it's just for me."

"Why now?" Merlin asked. "Why after almost a year?"

Eggsy looked at Merlin, "But I have something I want to move towards and don't think I can if I don't let him go."

Merlin stared back. They just watched each other, the air changed with something. Another man would be sniffing the air, but Merlin was looking at Eggsy's hands. No tapping, no thumb rubbing the pinkie nail. Eggsy was sure of this course of action. "Is this business or personal?"

"Personal, it is very much personal," Eggsy said.

"I will book us on a commercial flight then, and explain the situation to Merlin. I trust Daisy is staying here?"

"Yeah, already talked to the nanny. Next month you and I will take Daisy away for a fun weekend to make up for this."

"We will?" Merlin said softly and watched Eggsy.

"Yeah, she would hate to travel without her Wex," Eggsy joked.

Neither man wanted to mention that Merlin had been well for two weeks now and half those nights had slept in Eggsy's suite with him and Daisy.

"Very good Arthur, we will want a few days to wrap everything up," Merlin stood. "I'll book a flight for five days hence."

"Thanks, Fisher King," Eggsy said.

"You are welcome my king," Merlin gave him a nod and left the room. He went to his own office restless, too restless to work and went to the gym to punch things for an hour.

*****************************

"Bloody hell," Eggsy muttered. "Fish -"

"Hamish, Eggsy. Ye need to be calling me Hamish," Merlin said quietly. He could have shouted and not been noticed, Heathrow was always loud.

"So many people," Eggsy muttered and edged closer to Merlin. "And going to be on a plane with them?"

Merlin looked at him. "Eggsy ye have flown commercial before yes?" Eggsy shook his head and scooted closer. Merlin didn't think just wrapped an arm around him. "It's nae so scary," he promised.

"Gotten used to being in charge of shit, Hamish," Eggsy muttered and found himself snuggling in, breathing in that dead scent of just soap and skin. Airports were rank.

"I can help you out," a voice said near them.

Merlin looked at the man who was standing in front of them. He could tell it was an alpha from the posture, he didn't need the scent at all. "We are fine," Merlin said. "Just a bit of a nervous flyer."

"Little omega, let me help you."

"Fuck off, bruv, Hamish has me covered," Eggsy said. He didn't even look up.

"I can cover you better, calm you down," the alpha proclaimed.

"And I can let go of my omega, stand up, and have you bleeding with five broken bones in less than ten seconds," Merlin said calmly. "Nose, jaw, wrist, and two ribs. We are fine, do nae make me call security after I have beaten ye down." Merlin didn't realize what he had called Eggsy, but Eggsy did. His scent shifted quickly from worried to pleased and the alpha held up his hands and walked away. "Sorry about that Eggsy," Merlin said and gave him a squeeze.

"No worries, kinda used to it. Seriously fuck alphas," Eggsy replied.

"Nae, they are not where my interests lie when I want to fuck someone," Merlin said completely deadpan.

Eggsy laughed at that. "And who do you like to fuck then?"

"Men," Merlin replied. "Betas usually, sometimes omegas, though they tend to just be using me as a palette cleanser more than anything before they find their alpha."

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "Sure guv, like people could move on from you if they had you."

"I'm easily forgotten," Merlin commented.

"No, you are many things, Hamish, but forgettable ain't on that list." Eggsy wanted to say more but first class was called forward and they boarded. Eggsy held onto Merlin for most of the flight.

*****************************************

"Well, then, this is it," Eggsy said. The stood in the parking lot and look at the abandoned church. Weeds had grown and the building had broken glass. Merlin looked around and wondered what he was feeling, he couldn't describe it. He went forward and bashed in the rest of the glass on one window and rolled into the church. The bodies were gone but the stains remained. He looked at the space and could see Harry fighting again, remember trying to get through to Harry and for a moment almost having him.

Merlin kicked some garbage away and went and sat in a pew. This had been no true house of God, but he could pray all the same. He prayed for Harry, for everything that had been lost. He prayed for peace.

"Uhh, Hamish?" Eggsy called.

Merlin froze, Eggsy didn't sound right. He approached the window and looked out, trying to not make himself a target. He froze. Eggsy was standing exactly where Harry had and there was a man in a cowboy hat with a shotgun trained on him. Merlin's gaze wavered and the image in front of him switched back and forth between Eggsy and Harry a few times before he properly realized that Eggsy was in danger. He knelt and grabbed a piece of wood and threw it to distract the man with the gun.

Eggsy attacked but the man was good, clearly trained and had Eggsy on the ground, the gun a few inches from his face. "How about y'all come out here, before I ruin this pretty omega's face?" the man called.

"I'm coming out through the window," Merlin called. He went through with his hands up. "We were just paying our respects."

"Now, that doesn't endear me to you none, since this was a bunch of assholes," Tequila said.

"Not to the fucking church," Eggsy said on the ground. "A friend of ours was murdered here. We were in England and never got his body back. Came to say goodbye."

"Lots of people murdered in there," he said. He turned his gaze to Merlin who had been trying to edge close. "None of that now."

Merlin looked at the man's eyes and nodded. "Do ye own this land?"

"Nope, but we kept an eye on it, curious," he explained. "That's a mighty fine suit you are wearing," he said to Eggsy.

"Why?" Eggsy asked. "Why are you curious?"

"How about I show you?" he asked and shot a dart from his watch into Eggsy and then into Merlin. He walked over to Merlin and crouched down. "Who are you folk?"

Merlin looked at the man's eyes and began to laugh. "Apples...trees," he said before he passed out.

******************************************

They woke up zip tied to chairs the same man leaning against the wall in front of them. "Who are you?" he asked.

Merlin looked around, the room wasn't that dissimilar to his old work space at Kingsman.

"Fuck off, bruv," Eggsy snarled. "We weren't doing fuck all and you kidnap us? We're going to kill you?"

"Where's Harry?" Merlin asked calmly.

"Wot?" Eggsy stared at him in shock. "Harry's dead, Hamish," he said. "We both saw him get shot. You don't survive a bullet to the brain."

"Ye can," Merlin replied. He looked at the man. "And this gentleman knows it."

"Do I?" he was smiling just a little.

"Ye were monitoring the location, ye would only do that for a reason. And that reason is that you found a man who didn't fit. Who was in a similar suit to what Eggsy is wearing. And you aren't that good because your eyes have reacted both to my name and his. So I ask again where's Harry, Samuel?"

"How the fuck do you know my name?" the man asked and he had a handgun pressed to Merlin's forehead.

"Get the fuck away from him!" Eggsy roared and his scent went so feral that the man with the gun flinched. "Do not hurt mine."

A woman came running in. "Tequila, stop!"

"He knew my name!" Tequila shouted.

"Of course he did," she replied. She had scissors and quickly cut the ties. "I'm so sorry. The man you call Harry? He's just in the other room. I need to warn you though -" she couldn't finish the sentence though because Eggsy was already running and Merlin quickly followed him ignoring the way Tequila was yelling for him.

Eggsy flung open the door and there he was.

Fucking Harry Hart.

Sitting in a chair, reading calm as ever. Eye patch, longer hair, but it was the alpha that recruited him. "Harry," Eggsy said. He hurried forward wanting to touch Harry to believe he was real.

Harry looked up and flinched a little. He stood and tried to back away from Eggsy. "Not more tests," Harry said nervous.

"Harry, it's okay, we're here now, it's me Eggsy," Eggsy pleaded and kept moving and the two were circling.

Ginger and Tequila came in. "We saved him, but retrograde amnesia. He thinks he is headed to university soon," she said sadly. "We cannot snap him out of it."

"How the fuck do you know my name?" Tequila asked focused on that, because it was just wrong and the man was making his skin crawl.

Harry looked over at the two he knew. "Is this more tests?"

"University age ye say?" Merlin asked. He watched Eggsy try to hug Harry just to be swatted away. He moved forward and pushed Eggsy behind him. "Hello, Harry," he said.

"Hello, may I help you?" Harry asked.

"Rolly, one chance," Merlin warned.

Harry blinked. "I'm sorry? Do we know each other?"

"Oh, Rolly, I have forgiven you so much, I would have forgiven this too," Merlin said. He threw a hard punch that knocked Harry to the ground.

"Merlin!" Eggsy shouted. Ginger hurried over to Harry to check for damage and Tequila yet again had his gun to Merlin's head.

Harry looked up at him. "You know I always hated that nickname." He smiled a bit, fond, exasperated, and a wealth of other things.

"I do," Merlin agreed. "Shouldn't have pretended to be regressed to uni era and then pretend not to know me," Merlin said. He felt the gun nudge the back of his head. "Samuel, will ye stop pointing guns at me."

Harry looked between the two. "Well shit," he realized. He looked between the two men. "How didn't I see it?" he asked.

Merlin looked at him. "Harry..."

"I didn't know!" Harry protested. "I swear I didn't!"

"I'm going to fuck you up," Merlin warned.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Tequila yelled. "And you are not hurting my -" Tequila cut himself off quickly.

"Far too much," Harry said. He looked over, "Hello, Eggsy," he said wanting to ignore the other issues that were clearly arising.

"Harry?" Eggsy asked. He was lost and confused but Harry was there, in front of him.

Harry nodded and stood up. He looked at Eggsy and opened his arms and Eggsy couldn't do anything but collapse into them.

Merlin turned and looked at Tequila. "Hello, Samuel Tarquin Miller." 

Tequila put the gun away. "No one knows my middle name."

"I gave it to you, so I should know it well enough," Merlin replied. "How's your mother?"

"Dead," Tequila said. "So you're my Scottish bastard of a father."

"Aye," Merlin agreed. He managed to stay on his feet when Tequila punched him and then stormed off.

He felt Harry's hand on his shoulder and looked at him. "We are going to have words," Merlin warned. "A lot of them, Rolly."

"I am aware," Harry replied and for a moment Merlin let go of his rage and hugged his brother.


	15. Chapter 15

Eggsy breathed in. Harry smelled a little different than he had before, the underneath was changed a little. Less crisp, more raw. Eggsy stepped back. "Merlin, he smells wrong." He didn't think, just hurried over to Merlin, to stand beside him, and breathed in the completely dead air around him. "That's not Harry."

Ginger clutched her clipboard. "He was shot in the head..."

"Eggsy," Eggsy replied.

"Arthur," Merlin said.

"Hello Eggsy and Arthur," she said back.

"No, my dear," Harry said looking at the two of them carefully. "Eggsy is Arthur, head of the Kingsman and I should rather like to do know how that happened."

Merlin tilted his head a little bit. "And I'd rather like to know how my brother is alive and fucking my son and not telling us that he is alive and in fact pretends to have amnesia when we do find him." He smiled. "Wait I don't want to know. I'll just keep thinking that the person who has mattered most in my life is dead. If you'll excuse me," Merlin said and walked out of the room.

"That was rather uncalled for," Harry said. He looked at Eggsy. "So, Arthur?"

Eggsy ignored Harry for the moment. "Why his scent different?" he asked Ginger.

"He was shot in the head," Ginger said softly. "A large trauma like that will change a person's scent a little." She looked at Harry and kept her mouth shut.

Harry didn't though. "My relationship with Tequila will have also affected my scent. We aren't bonded but we are close to making that decision. Things might change now though with the new information provided."

"You'd abandon your omega?" Eggsy said.

"No, but delay," Harry replied. "Until feelings are running cooler. Like your calmness."

"Calm?" Eggsy began to laugh. "Calm? Yeah, I'm totally calm." Eggsy had to double over he was laughing so hard. He then ran, putting his shoulder into Harry's stomach and knocking to the ground. He pinned the alpha and held a knife to his neck. "This feels familiar."

"Not with me," Harry replied. He pressed his neck up against the blade just a little.

"Merlin did the same damn thing."

"My father taught us that no blade will stand true against hearts such as ours," Harry replied.

"Heart? You think you have one of those?" Eggsy sneered and the knife he held against Harry's throat pressed even closer, so close to breaking skin. "Tell me your memories only came back in the last couple of weeks. Tell me that while Merlin and I fought and hated each other because we were mourning you, that you didn't remember us. Tell me that while I shoveled and burned bodies and thought of you with each one you were in a coma or something. Tell me that while I learned to be the fucking leader of the Kingsman, a job I shouldn't have had, you were still relearning how to wipe your own arse. Tell me that while one of my agents let my mum die, that your brain didn't know the name Eggsy."

"He woke up three weeks after we recovered him," Ginger said. She was carefully reaching for the stun gun she had at the small of her back. "It took him another month to be able to speak."

Eggsy and Harry never took their eyes off each other.

"I remembered you and Merlin the whole time," Harry said.

Eggsy pressed the blade in a little more and a small line of blood appeared. "Looks like my blade held true against you well enough. Better check that heart of yours again Galahad, it seems to have been lost along the way." He stood up and gave a polite nod to Ginger and walked out.

Ginger helped Harry up and checked his neck, but it was already clotting. "I told you this was a dumb idea."

"Have I had a good one since being here?" he replied.

"Tequila," she offered. "You two work together."

"I'm fucking and wanting to be mated to my nephew," Harry gave her a look. "How is that acceptable?"

"Is there a blood relationship between the two of you?"

"No, not in the slightest," Harry replied.

"Then fuck away," she gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Who will you go after first?"

It was easy for him. "My omega."

"Good luck." Ginger decided she was going to hide in her office for the time being. This was likely to get loud.

*******************************

It was a big complex but Eggsy knew Merlin's habits well enough. He hauled himself onto the roof of the building and sure enough Merlin was on a roof one building over. He did a few jumps over to him. He sat next to Merlin and realized they were gazing at a pen that had horses. "Do you ride?" Eggsy asked.

"A little, not as well as him," Merlin said.

Eggsy reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"Fuck, I love ye lad," Merlin said. They sat up there and had a cigarette. "It's a nice place here, I can see why he would want to stay."

"I hate him so much," Eggsy said.

"Do you?"

"I really really really want to hate him so much," Eggsy replied.

"Aye," Merlin agreed. "That is where I am."

"He has been alive and chose not to contact us. He let us suffer," Eggsy said. He knew his scent was sick, painful. Merlin didn't react as usual. But then Merlin's arm was around him, cuddling him. "How'd you know I needed a hug?"

"Because who wouldn't right now?" Merlin asked.

Eggsy smiled. "Yeah. Can I?"

"Can ye what?" 

Eggsy moved so that he was sitting in between Merlin's legs, and then wrapped the beta's arms around him. He surrounded himself with Merlin as much as he could. He breathed in and smelled whisky, and wood, and everything around them.

The aftershave Merlin wore.

A tear slipped out of Eggsy's eye. "He turned out to be someone else who didn't want me, just threw me away."

Merlin's grip tightened around him, painful, desperate. "I want ye, Eggsy," he whispered against Eggsy's nape, close enough it was almost a kiss.

Eggsy pried Merlin's arms off of him, "For now. You'll be like the rest in the end." He slide down and away, was off the roof before Merlin could stop him.

Merlin clenched his fists. He had to go kill his brother. No one hurt his Eggsy.


	16. Chapter 16

Harry went an knocked on Tequila's door and there was no answer. "Darling, I need to talk to you." There was no response. "Please, my omega, it seems there is much I need to explain." Still nothing. Which wasn't like Tequila at all. The door was locked but Harry entered the code he had had for months. He went in and the room was empty. He could hunt the man down or ask Ginger where he was, but Harry decided to wait. He sat in the lazy boy that he pretended to loathe. It was an aesthetic monstrosity but it was exceedingly comfortable. It had felt good after all the painful hours of therapy. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Harry could smell Tequila before he was even in the room and he wanted to growl at how distressed it was; wanted to gather Tequila up and run away keep him safe. 

Harry, it turned out, was very very good at running away.

He could hear Tequila pause outside his own door, wondered if Tequila knew Harry was in here. The door opened and Tequila nodded a little. He closed it and made sure it was bolted shut. He went and sat on the bed and curled his arms around his legs.

"Sam," Harry began and quieted when Tequila shook his head.

"Need to ask you some questions Harry," Tequila said. "And you need to answer them. And none of that fancy two stepping you've done for months and thought you were getting away with."

"You are far more than they give you credit for, it was one of the things that drew me to you," Harry replied. "I've never lied to you."

"Omitted, danced, meandered," Tequila replied. "And the first question is the sort that ends us here and now depending on what you say."

"I swear I didn't know you were Merlin's son," Harry said swiftly.

"Merlin?" Tequila frowned. "That's a stupid fucking name."

"Hamish, and to his mind it was never much better," Harry said. "A couple decades he's refused his own name and even in private with me preferred Merlin." Harry looked at Tequila who looked much younger than his 30 years in that moment. "I didn't know."

"When I got close to him, he said apples and trees," Tequila said. "I don't smell like apples."

"No, you smell like the most sinful blackberries," Harry made a noise low in his throat and Tequila perked up for a moment before scowling. "And he is legally scent dead. He would have seen your training. Apples don't fall far from trees you know." Harry looked at Tequila. "You don't look much like him, but it is there in the shape of your eyes, and the way you move your body, which is surprising since you haven't seen him since you were 16 months."

Tequila's scent changed in an instant, angry, and bitter. "He never saw me."

"That is a lie," Harry replied. "I thought you said no lies."

"He abandoned Mama. Gave her a few hundred dollars for an abortion and kicked her to the curb."

"Hamish fought tooth and nail to see you.  Paid for your mother's comfort while she was pregnant and while she barred him from the delivery room he stood outside the window after you were born for hours. Security had to remove him twice. She made him pay to see you. 100 pounds for every visit. He emptied his bank accounts. We took you to museums, galleries, libraries for baby time. And then she said she wanted to go back to America. He didn't fight it. I was so furious at him. He loved you so desperately and just let her take you away. We didn't speak for a year."

Tequila swallowed. "That never happened," he whispered, begged. "He never gave a fuck about me."

"He gave every fuck about you," Harry promised. "You should talk to him."

"Nope," Tequila said. "At least not right now, busy talking to you, Uncle Harry." He sneered the last words and the anger in it made them both flinch.

"We share not a drop of blood," Harry replied. "Merlin and I are in no way blood kin."

"Were you drawn to me though, because of him. You said you can see it in the way I move."

Harry shook his head. "If I had, it would have likely repulsed me. Merlin is my brother, he is a pain in my ass, always has been."

"Here that is what siblings are supposed to be like." Tequila looked at him. "Okay, know we got a lot of serious shit but Rolly?"

"Lord," Harry shook his head. "Harold, my name is Harold."

"Thank the good lord above you didn't tell me that before our first time, would have killed the desire but fast," Tequila joked. "You do not look like a Harold."

"Hence, Harry. When we were children, we were running and I fell and rolled down a hill and a nickname was born. One I wish would die." Harry looked at Tequila. "Please never call me that."

"Yeah, not a worry," Tequila agreed. They were quiet, and Harry waited. He knew better than to push right now. "What I can't figure is how you talk about him like he's a good man."

"He's a very good man."

"And you smiled at Eggsy like you liked him."

"He is a lad who I had seen potential in and it appears to have been achieved."

"When you spoke again, you said I have potential," Tequila said. "That how you flirt, Harry? Talk about po-tent-ial?" Tequila drew out the word. "You going to move on along back to England, to the achieved potential?"

"No," Harry said swiftly and his scent rose and fell in a few different emotions. The last rejection. "I may return to England, if you end our relationship, but I don't want Eggsy."

Tequila felt his shoulders relax a little. "If you like them, why in the actual fuck did you have us try to lie and say you had amnesia?" Tequila gave him a look. "And such a piss poor lie at that."

Harry's back was bothering him and he pulled the lever to put up the legs. "I know. I am quite dreadful at undercover missions. I always miss something."

Tequila snorted. "Would have thought that smooth as silk hide your real face shit woulda suited you."

"No," Harry replied. "Short term yes, though I fuck that up regularly, long term. Once, and Merlin had to come in guns blazing." Harry smiled at the memory. It is all so long ago he honestly can't remember if he became a Kingsman because of Merlin and it was Merlin following in the chaos he created. "That's the thing you see," he said.

"I absolutely don't see, Harry," Tequila pointed out.

"The chaos," Harry explained.

"Harry, remember the words have to be said out loud, not just in your head," Tequila reminded gently. He went over. "Remember we speak to be understood." It had been Harry's biggest problem after the bullet to the head, he had whole conversations that took place in his brain and he wouldn't say the words out loud, sure that he was. 

"I am chaos. I'm a tornado who leaves carnage and broken hearts in my wake," Harry looked up at Tequila sadly. "They needed a break from me."

Tequila went and sat in Harry's lap and nuzzled his alpha and Harry growled a little. Tequila then pinched his ear and tilted his head and took a nip at his throat. "You fucking coward." Harry growled a little at him and Tequila just took another nip. "No. You were a fucking idiot, running away and hurting people like that."

"I was scared!" Harry snapped.

"Everyone gets scared, they don't pretend to be dead for months and then bullshit amnesia when found, when they know they'll be caught out in a second." Tequila glared at him. "That's not my alpha."

"No, my dear, you see that is exactly your alpha," Harry replied. "I did the job for thirty years, and I got shot in the fucking head and that was supposed to be it. But it wasn't because you brought me back. And I hated you for the first couple months for it. And I didn't have you contact the Kingsman because I figured dead to them was better. They'd mourn, and they'd heal, and they'd forget me. I wanted to be forgotten. I wanted to stop...mattering. I did my part for the world and just...just once I wanted the world to give something back, even if that was just to not give a fuck about me."

"That makes no sense," Tequila said.

"Do the job for a couple more decades, my omega, and it might make a little more," Harry commented. "I broke their hearts and figured they'd mend them better without me. Only they came for some godforsaken reason, and I realized how fucking stupid that would sound to them, even if it made sense to me. And decided to lie. Only I never created covers so I did a piss poor job of it."

"And you broke their hearts all over again," Tequila said softly. He leaned against Harry.

"I did," Harry agreed.

"How many times you gonna break mine, Harry?" 

"Too many, Sam," Harry said softly. He hugged Tequila tight. "You might want to walk away. I'm not a good man."

Tequila snorted. "Hell, Harry, I knew that about you when I saw what you did to that church, the way you cursed out Ginger during your therapy."

"Yes, I would prefer you keep that secret from Eggsy and Merlin, it wasn't very gentlemanly."

Tequila sighed at the ball of contradictions that was Harry Hart. "Lying to their faces and hiding for months not exactly gentlemanly either, but sure I'll make sure not to tell them that one time, ONE, you called Ginger an unfortunate soul of a cruel woman. She did make up a sampler with it by the way, hangs in the front hall of her house." He breathed in the alpha. It was a mix of shame and fear, a combo that he had seldom scented on the man. "Harry, you have to fix this."

"I don't know how, it is such a large mess," Harry said.

"Then use a large fucking mop," Tequila replied. He moved back to look at him. "Because whatever we want to be, can't be, while all this is hanging out."

"Will you talk to Merlin?" Harry asked wanting to deflect a little.

"That isn't the concern right now."

"It can be added to the mix," Harry said. He gave Tequila a firm look. "It seems you were lied to, wouldn't you like to know the truth?"

Tequila shrugged a bit. "Dunno."

"Yes you do."

"Fuck that, he let me go without a fight, then let me stay let go," Tequila said.

"That is hardly the mature response," Harry chided.

"Oh, really? That really the road you want to walk down right now? Because where I'm standing you're on mighty shaky ground on the high road there."

"Point," Harry said. He sat the chair up. "I go talk to Eggsy and you talk to Merlin?"

Tequila gripped him tight. "No."

"Sam?" Harry wondered why Tequila smelled so scared.

"Not sending you off to the pretty boy alone," Tequila muttered. "We stick together."

Harry wished Tequila being a bit jealous didn't make him happy. But the last day had established that he wasn't a good man at all. He was about to say something and then could hear the footsteps approaching. "Merlin is coming. And he is pissed."

Tequila didn't think just stood and planted himself in front of Harry, protecting his alpha. There was a sharp knock on the door. "Harry," Merlin called, "You fucker." Tequila made a noise low in his throat.

Harry stood up and nuzzled his neck, soothing him. He went around Tequila and opened the door. "Hello Ham," he said. His head snapped back when Merlin punched him.

"Rolly," Merlin replied and punched again. He straightened his sweater. "I really want to kill you right now."

"You ain't killin nobody," Tequila said.

Merlin ignored him and kept his eyes on Harry. "Ye made my Eggsy cry and devalue himself, yet again."

"Your Eggsy?"

"Fuck you, Rolly," Merlin snarled. "It will take me months to fix this. Months that could have been better spent."

"You love the lad," Harry said in shock.

"Of course I do!" Merlin roared. He then sighed. "Of course I do," he whispered.

"This is a mess," Harry said. "I've made a mess."

"Worse than the jam incident," Merlin agreed. He looked at Harry. "And more than I hate ye right now, I hate myself because all I want to do is hug you, because no matter what my fucking brother is standing there alive."

Harry moved forward and hugged Merlin carefully. "I'm so sorry." He winced when Merlin punched gut punched him. "I'm sorry," he repeated and ignored the second punch, Merlin had pulled it a great deal. "I'm sorry." Merlin gripped him tight.

"Still mad, Rolly," Merlin whispered.

"I know," Harry whispered back. 

They stood hugging in the open doorway for a while. Eggsy who had decided to go looking for Harry saw that hug and nodded to himself. Of course Merlin would side with Harry in the end, who wouldn't? He turned and walked away.


	17. Chapter 17

"Hi."

"Yeah, hey," Eggsy said but didn't look over. He kept staring at the horses and he had a bottle of whisky he nicked from the tasting room. "Ginger, right?" He held the bottle out to her.

"Yup," she agreed and took a slug. "God I hate whisky," she said as she winced. 

Eggsy finally looked at her. "Makes the cover job kinda shitty, don't it?"

"When Champ is annoyed with me, he makes me lead the tours where I have to talk about how wonderful it is. Fun," she said. She handed him back the bottle. "Arthur -"

"Eggsy, name is Eggsy. Arthur's just a job title."

"Rachelle," Ginger said, "I told Harry it was a dumb fucking idea."

Eggsy somehow found himself laughing at that. "It was that."

They watched the horses run about the pen a little bit. "He and Tequila happy?"

Ginger wondered if she was going to break his heart. "They are."

Eggsy nodded a bit. "Good. I'm glad Harry is happy." He drank some more of the whisky.

"You don't seem that glad," she said softly. 

"I figured it out. Some people, they get to be happy, and some people get to be content, and some people get to be miserable. That's the way it all shakes out." Eggsy waved a hand to indicate the world or the universe, or something. "And some people...some people can see happy and think maybe, maybe this time it will be for me. They can reach out and touch it, but it always moves a little further away. You just chase and chase and chase and it is never ever fucking yours. And you have to decide keep chasing and be miserable, or just stop and walk away and be glad for those who get to be happy." Eggsy took a gulp of the whisky. "Been chasing happy since I was seven. And right now, standing here, I'm done chasing and will just be glad for everyone else."

"There's no happiness in your world? None at all?" Ginger pressed. "I can't believe that."

"I got Daisy, and I got agents who trust me, and friends. I've got happy, but it's different." Eggsy looked to the building where he had walked away from Harry and Merlin. "The type of happy I mean is the sort...hell I don't even know what I mean. This is one hell of a whisky." Eggsy gave her the bottle. "Give me gin any day."

"I have gin in my office. Harry reward."

"Harry, yeah," Eggsy shook his head. "Think I'll just go to that room you gave me, have a shower, and then I guess as the boss I have to figure out what to do with my wayward agent." He gave her a hollow smile. "You aren't so bad."

"You too," she said.

"If I had a cowboy hat, I'd be tipping it and saying ma'am," Eggsy joked and went back to his quarters. He had a long shower and then called home and the nanny put Daisy on the phone a bit and he listened to her babble and when she asked for her Rex he explained that Merlin was busy. Daisy cried a bit, and Eggsy could understand how she felt. "We'll be home soon," he promised her.

"Wex sleep over!" she said.

"Maybe," Eggsy said though fuck if he knew. "You be good for your nanny."

"Unca Pewcy tucking me in."

"You tell him only two stories."

"No," Daisy said and clearly smashed buttons until the phone hung up. Eggsy smiled at that, and remembered he had to bring her home a surprise. You always bring a kid home a surprise. He lay down on the bed and tried to think of what was next. And he realized he didn't know. He had to think of the situation as both Eggsy and Arthur, and the Eggsy side was a mess, so he had to think of Arthur. They had an agent returned to them. Who had suffered a traumatic injury and had been derelict in duty. The rules were pretty clear on that, but Eggsy couldn't go as far as they suggested. But he couldn't let Harry's behaviour stand either. He wasn't quite sure how to handle it so he thought he should consult with his Fisher King. 

Not his friend, not his almost but never was possibility of whatever Merlin was, but his mentor on the job.

It wasn't to give Merlin a chance to choose him over Harry.

There wasn't even a choose him or Harry situation. 

Ugh he was a mess.

But business.

With his Fisher King.

Eggsy went back towards Harry's room and no one was there. He wandered through halls and was just about to give up when he heard Merlin's laugh. He followed the noise and found Harry and Merlin playing billiards with an older man, and no Tequila in sight. Eggsy wasn't sure why they fact bothered him the most. Perhaps it just looked too much like what he thought posh sorts always did, or maybe because Merlin looked like he had so easily forgiven Harry every drop of pain. Because he always did, Merlin had said that once. He always forgave Harry. And Eggsy would have thought he could have too.

But in that moment something in Eggsy was done. "Well, this is a sight isn't it?" Harry and the old guy flinched from his scent and Merlin was watching his hands. "Fisher King, I need to consult with you on something important."

Merlin's spine straightened and he put the cue down. "Of course, Arthur, I serve at your whim."

Harry laughed a little. "You never said that to Chester, may he be rotting in hell."

Eggsy ignored Harry. "Fisher King, you know I've read all the guidelines and rules for the Kingsman - you bloody made me."

"I know that yes," Merlin agreed. 

Eggsy tried not to let his scent get too noticeably grateful when Merlin came to stand beside him. At least in this moment Merlin was his. "What is the punishment for an agent who is derelict in duty?"

"Eggsy, come now -" Harry tried to protest.

Eggsy pulled out the gun from the small of his back. He didn't point it at Harry, just held it at his side. "I am Arthur, and you will call me as such."

Harry was very quiet, and his scent was clearly stunned.

Merlin took a breath. "There is some flexibility for situations, but if you are asking what the rules say the punishment for Harold Hart aka Galahad, they clearly state that deliberately choosing to refuse to duty without consultation or resignation is to be met with death."

Eggsy lifted the gun and pointed it at Harry. "You were in a coma on Vday, and a little after. You don't know what your coworkers suffered. And god did they suffer. You didn't care about them. Or me, who you called a disappoint, and you didn't care about your brother."

"I had my reasons."

"Like I give a fuck. You did not behave in a manner befitting your station and your beliefs, the things you made me believe in. According to our own rules, I should just shoot you down and make sure it sticks this time," Eggsy said. 

"So, shoot me," Harry said.

Eggsy shook his head no. "You know I won't, but you think it because I'm too compassionate. And yeah, I guess I am. But it isn't about you. I know what happens to an omega when you murder their mate and sure you and Tequila ain't mated yet, but still not putting an omega through even the chance of that." He took a breath. "Agent Galahad, you have behaved pathetically and cruelly and against all the tenants that you purport to believe in. I hereby strip you of your rank, your name, your place at the table. You are not to step foot on Kingsman property again, you will receive no aid from any other agent or member of our support staff. Your personal belongings can be returned to you at a neutral location, or we will pay shipping to where you like." Eggsy smiled. "I'm making your dreams come true Harry. You didn't want to be a knight anymore, and look - you aren't one. The name Galahad will be retired, not out of respect, but because of how your actions here tainted it. You'll be forgotten, just the way you seem to have wanted." Eggsy looked at him. "You thought I was a disappointment? You should be where I'm fucking standing, bruv." Eggsy turned and walked out of the billiards room. 

He really needed some more of that whisky to numb how he was feeling.

Merlin stared after Eggsy in utter shock.

And a little bit of awe.

"Merlin," Harry said and came over. "What was that?" 

Merlin looked at his brother. "That? That was you facing the consequences of your rush in, damn the rules, and figure an apology will cover it after, actions." He smiled sincerely. "Good lord, the lad managed to do what I never could. And it was incredible."

"He isn't serious," Harry protested. "He didn't just strip me of everything."

"You didn't want it," Merlin said. "If you did, you would have come back to Kingsman, to me, months ago."

"No...I didn't want it..but," Harry was quiet.

"But you figured if you did, you could return to a hero's welcome, spill a tale and we'd all be falling all over you." Merlin nodded a little. "Rolly, welcome to properly facing a situation of your own making."

"He can't just do that."

"He is our Arthur, he is my king, he can absolutely do that," Merlin said. "In time, because he is compassionate, you may be offered a chance to liaison between Kingsman and Statesman, because the two agencies pooling information could be handy. But congratulations on your retirement, Harry. It will give you plenty of time, to take care of your omega," Merlin said.

Harry couldn't believe it. "All that work, over just like that."

"No, Harry," Merlin said gently, "It was over the day you were capable of calling us, and didn't. I love ye so much, but Eggsy is building a new table, a new Kingsman, and honestly you would hate it. Far too many discussions of feelings. And hugs. There are mandatory hugs." He smiled at the way Harry looked appalled. "Aye Harry, hugs at the workplace, not just at home. And therapy, all agents have to do so much therapy. And get cupcakes on their birthday. And -"

"Yes, please stop now," Harry replied. "You shouldn't sound so happy about it."

"I am, because watching him grow, has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life. Go tell Tequila you are staying, that you'll be his kept alpha. That should be fun."

"I hate you," Harry said, flummoxed by dealing with actual consequences for his behaviour for the first time since he was a teen.

"I hate you too," Merlin agreed and gave him a tight hug. "I'll mail you your butterflies."

Harry gripped him tight. "See? I like hugs."

"After every action report, Harry. And sometimes there is a cookie too."

Harry shuddered a little. "Go chase after your Arthur."

"He isn't mine," Merlin protested.

"I do believe that is something that you should fix."

Merlin let go of his brother. "I think that perhaps I should."  He followed where Eggsy had gone.

"Son, that was a whole whack of confusing that I do not understand," Champ said. "But I'll hire you in a second."

"Thank you, Champ," Harry said. "I should find Tequila, tell him the...news. Such as it is." 

Champ nodded and shot a perfect bank shot. "Whole mess of a mess," he muttered to himself. 

Harry couldn't disagree.


	18. Chapter 18

Eggsy was pretty sure he was close to Ginger's office, when he ran into Tequila. They looked at each other and just sort of waited for the other to make a move. Tequila's scent was aggressive, Eggsy's sad. Eggsy shook his head. "Bruv, I do not want a face off right now. You want a fight, I can try, but not really up to it." He felt his shoulders slump and just didn't care. "Just let me go to Ginger and her booze supply."

Tequila's scent softened a little. "I know where there is a good spot of hooch."

"Hooch?"

"Fun word."

"Lead on," Eggsy said. He followed Tequila all the way down a few roads and they were in a bar. It looked nothing like the Black Prince but somehow reminded him of it. "This your local?"

"I guess," Tequila said. He got them a couple beers and they sat at a table. A couple alphas watched them but they were easy to ignore. "So, you taking Harry away?"

"Nope, I shit canned his absentee arse," Eggsy said and raised his beer in salute. "He's all yours."

"You can just do that? To Harry? Didn't he like bring you in?" Tequila was dumbfounded, the guy in front of him was a few years younger than him.

"Sure, but while he was in the coma or not speaking or whatever, I got made into the boss," Eggsy smiled. "Didn't want it but now it's mine and I'm going to do my job. Well sort of, technically I should have killed him."

Tequila made a low noise and his scent went vicious. "You would be dead before you could pull the trigger."

"See?" Eggsy pointed at him. "That right there? That's why I'm done with alphas. I have enough on my plate, save me from that bonded all or nothing attitude. Also, just so you know, if I wanted Harry dead? He'd already be dead. You couldn't stop me. Because Harry, whatever he may have told you about me? He don't know me now, and trust me I am a lot more terrifying than he could comprehend." Eggsy leaned forward. "I am Arthur, I am the mother fucking king and I will keep my kingdom safe, no matter the cost."

Tequila looked at him. "Fuck," he said impressed.

"Damn right," Eggsy said and then slumped in the chair. "Hated doing it, but it had to be done. Never get put in power, it sucks."

"So quit?" Tequila suggested.

"But I'm good at it. My knights need me." Eggsy shook his head. "Months ago I would never have said this, but it is where I belong. Never would have expected that." Eggsy looked at Tequila. "Just...he's a wanker and I'm mad at him, but you'll take care of Harry right?"

"Aren't alphas supposed to take care of omegas?" Tequila asked and laughed when Eggsy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'll take care of him. He needs a fuckton of looking after."

"Good," Eggsy replied and finished his beer. "We'll be out of your hair tomorrow, I'm guessing. Don't want to be away from my girl longer than I have to."

"Your girl?"

"I'm raising my little sister, Daisy," Eggsy explained and pulled out his phone, always eager to show her off. He swiped through a few photos, and Eggsy realized how many had Daisy and Merlin together. He stopped at one that had their foreheads pressed together, their eyes closed, like they were somehow sharing thoughts.

"She doesn't hate that he has a dead scent?" Tequila asked.

"He doesn't have a dead scent," Eggsy snapped. "He's a legally scent dead beta, and he smells like soap, and lotion, and gun oil, just fine. Daisy loves that neutrality after what she had been surrounded by."

Tequila gave him a knowing look. "And so do you right?" Eggsy didn't answer that. "Don't you miss a knot?"

"Nope, never fond of them that much outside a heat anyways, and fuck I'd prefer him working a toy at this point that some giant dick where the scent of the dude just overwhelms you." Eggsy blinked and realized what he said. "I mean..."

"Pretty sure you mean what you said. So you love my dad. You know he's an asshole, right?"

"Yup," Eggsy said easily. "But he's not an asshole like how you think."

"An asshole is an asshole isn't he?"

"Nah, bruv, there are different sorts and you know it. You think he's an abandoning asshole, probably only cares about himself right?" Tequila reluctantly nodded. "When actually he's the sort of asshole who hates how much he cares about everyone else, and gets overwhelmed by the feeling. He gets tunnel vision? Can't see past his own pain to others. He's arrogant, snappish, vicious, cold, and a million other shitty things. He let my mum die, to keep me safe."

"And you love him? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tequila asked.

"Didn't say I love him, just stating what sort of asshole he is, and my mum was dead that night anyways, come to terms with that, as much as I can anyways. But a man who is that type of asshole? That type don't abandon his kid like you think he did to you."

"I don't want to talk to him," Tequila said finally.

"So don't," Eggsy replied.

"What?" Tequila stared at him. "You don't think I need to do the touching reunion? Where he tells me he loved me but did what he thought was right, where he throws my mom under the bus, just like how she threw him under the bus? We hug and repair our relationship because he secretly has a million photos of me hidden away, and has written me a letter every birthday, collected in a box somewhere?"

Eggsy burst out laughing. "Trust me, he is not the sort to have done that. When she took you away, he mourned and was probably a huge fucking wanker for months, but then he would have put it in the back of his head and barely thought of you, for years at a go."

Tequila thought about that. "You know, I honestly prefer that. That I can understand."

"You are an adult, talk to him, don't. I don't really care. Now deliberately hurt him, you and I are having a conversation where we likely find out who's better trained, Kingsman or Statesman, but otherwise? This don't especially concern me." Eggsy shrugged. "I have enough on my plate, not taking on this issue."

"Okay then," Tequila felt himself relaxing all the way. "So not taking Harry away, and not forcing me into a lifetime movie. Perhaps you and me at least can get along." The door opened and they looked over and there was Merlin. "Nope," was all Tequila said.

"Tell him that then," Eggsy suggested. He watched Merlin come over and was confused that the man didn't look mad. Like at all. He was sure Merlin would be furious with him for kicking Harry out. "Hey," Eggsy said to Merlin. "What up?"

"I have booked our flight home," Merlin replied. "I'm done with Kentucky for now."

Eggsy nodded. "Me too," he agreed. He looked between the two men. "Right, I'm going to be over there." He scurried out of the booth and went to the bar.

Tequila looked at Merlin. "Nope," he said, curious what would happen.

"Very well," Merlin agreed. "If ye would prefer, we can pretend you are my brother's omega and never address the other elephant in the room."

"Perfect," Tequila agreed.

"Take care of my brother. I'll be calling him regularly, I trust that won't be a problem."

"Nah," Tequila said. "I'm fine with that."

"I wish you well," Merlin said formally. "And the only thing I'll ever say is, I am sorry for the Tarquin."

"Okay, I do gotta know what the fuck was up with that?" Tequila asked. He didn't want to engage with the man, but on the other hand he had wondered about his middle name for years.

"My godfather," Merlin said. "I worshipped him, turns out he was a giant arse. From what I can tell you do the name more honour than he ever did." Merlin gave him a faint smile and then went back over to Eggsy and they were gone.

Tequila grabbed another beer and drank it, waiting. And sure enough, Harry arrived and slid into the booth across from him. "So, here you got fired."

"I did," Harry agreed.

"I earn enough to keep you in decent style, buy you pretty aprons, get your manicures," Tequila said. "Plus Ginger likes it when you hang around her office."

"I will find ways to keep myself well occupied." Harry looked at him. "Next heat, will you be mine? Even though I'm a fuck up."

Tequila thought about Eggsy's comment on different sorts of assholes. "Yeah, because baby, you are my type of fuck up."

Harry cupped his neck and dragged him forward into a kiss.

***************************************

Merlin and Eggsy didn't talk much that night or on the plane the next day, both lost in their own thoughts about what they had found. When they made it back to the estate they avoided everyone and climbed to the roof and shared a cigarette.

"So that just all around sucked," Eggsy said.

Merlin took a drag. "Aye," he agreed. "I am sorry my brother is an arse."

"Sorry your kid wanted nothing to do with you. That had to be a kick in the junk meeting your son and finding out he was shagging your brother." 

They both were quiet and then began to laugh hysterically. "Oh lord," Merlin groaned. "It is the worst comedy of errors ever."

"Seriously, we just need a long lost uncle with a secret fortune to appear," Eggsy giggled. "Or for you to have all of sudden realized that you loved me." He laughed some more. "That would be the icing on the cake."

Merlin laughed a bit more. "Aye, that would be funny. Almost as hysterical as the thought that ye could love me."

The laughter stopped and they kept staring out at the trees. Merlin passed the cigarette to Eggsy who took the last drag and stubbed it out.

"Yeah, hysterical," Eggsy agreed. He shifted over a little more so that their arms were brushing each other.

"Funniest cosmic joke ever," Merlin added. He brushed his knuckles against Eggsy's. They could see Daisy burst out of the doors to run around the grass.

"Time to see our girl," Eggsy said and slid down the roof and dropped over the side.

"Our girl," Merlin said softly and with a smile. He took a more traditional way down from the roof.


	19. Chapter 19

"Okay, I think you'll be good to go," Eggsy said.

"I do as well, it is a simple job," Percival agreed. It had been simple enough planning that Eggsy had handled the meeting alone, Merlin helping down in R&D for the day. The last few weeks, since the return from Kentucky, Eggsy had been doing more and more on his own, fully invested and confident in his role as Arthur. He waited for his hug and was confused when it wasn't incoming. "Problem?"

"What does love feel like?" Eggsy asked.

"I'm not sure I understand," Percival said slowly.

"Well, like you've been in love, like romantic love," Eggsy said. "How'd it feel?"

"It never felt like just one thing," Percival said. He stared into space and remembered. "I would say if there is one person out there that makes you feel everything you have ever felt before, and you would be devastated if they weren't there to you feel those things, that would be love." Percival gave him a look. "May I ask why you ask?"

"Just trying to sort things out," Eggsy said.

"Your feelings don't always have to be perfect for the person. James could make me angry and frustrated and petty," Percival smiled, "and a million other things."

"Was it worth it?" This was something that Eggsy was curious about. "If you went back, knowing how it would end, would you still fall in love with him? Would you change it?"

"Oh Eggsy," Percival went over and hugged him. "No, not for a second, in fact I would tell myself to go out with him the first time he asked, not the seventeenth." He gripped tight. "Nervous about the step you and Merlin have taken?"

"Step?" Eggsy looked at him. "What step? There have been no steps?"

"Interesting," Percival said. "Well, I will see you in a week."

"Good hunting, hurry home," Eggsy said.

"While I'm away, consider why I might have thought things had changed in your personal circumstances?" Percival suggested.

"Okay," Eggsy agreed, mostly to ease the agent's mind, he didn't want the man worrying out on a mission.

He sat behind his desk and did some paperwork and Percival's question itched at his brain and he tried to figure out what the man might have meant. There was a knock on his door that distracted him. "Come in," he called and smiled when Daisy burst into the room and then Merlin followed with a tray. "What's this then?" he asked.

"Pise!" Daisy shouted. "Lunch."

"Lunch is a very good surprise," Eggsy agreed. He came around his desk and picked her up for a giant hug. "Is it my favourite?"

"Yup," she agreed and hugged back. 

Merlin put the tray on the coffee table and then gave Eggsy a quick hug of greeting as well. Eggsy couldn't stop his scent from rising in happiness. He froze when it seemed like for a second Merlin could smell him, but he realized that that was just a snort of laughter at the dramatic faces Daisy was making about being squished in the hug. Merlin let go and began to put the food out. 

Eggsy sat on the couch. "Wow, peanut butter sandwiches with the crusts cut off? And goldfish crackers? Even green jello? My absolute favourite lunch."

"See Wex, told you," Daisy preened.

"Aye lass, forgive me for suggesting the cook's special curry chicken salad." Merlin picked up his triangle of sandwich and took a bite.

Eggsy tried not to whimper at the thought of how close he had been to his actual favourite lunch. "What a silly Hamish, thinking he knew better than Daisy about my favourite lunch." He ate some goldfish crackers.

"I thought I was right," Merlin replied. He grinned and waited.

"No!" Daisy shouted and giggled so much she fell off the couch. Which just caused her to laugh some more.

Eggsy smiled at their antics and ate his lunch that was really Daisy's favourite. They talked about plans for the weekend, taking Daisy to a children's museum and being a little unit, until Merlin's watch beeped. "Right, missy, time to return to your nanny, your Da and I have more work to do for the day, but one of us will give ye your bath tonight okay?"

"No," Daisy tried to protest, but Merlin just gave her a look and she knew better than to protest. "He's Essy, You Da," she explained.

Eggsy's jaw dropped. "Daisy you ca-"

"If that is how you prefer it very well, now give Eggsy a hug so I can return you to Nanny," Merlin replied.

Daisy skipped over and gave Eggsy a huge hug and then went to Merlin and held up her arms. "No, lass I have to carry the tray, on my back, if ye want a lift." Eggsy watched as Daisy went around behind Merlin and climbed him like a monkey and choked the life out of him with her arms. They both smiled at him and left.

"Bwah?" was the sound Eggsy made after they left. He had never felt so confused.

The next few days continued in that pattern of domesticity and he found gifts on his desk, small perfect things that could have only come from Merlin. And whenever he thanked the man, Merlin would give a pleased smile and say "after the fact still has to count right?" Eggsy didn't have the heart to ask after the fact of what. He was terrified what the answer might be. And extra terrified that it wouldn't be what he wanted it to be.

Merlin was due for a meeting shortly and Eggsy's personal phone rang. He realized it was Tilde and answered happily and they chatted for twenty minutes, Eggsy more than happy to agree to her request. Merlin came in with tea and they talked budgets and some new gadgets that R&D were working on. It was smooth, like most of their meetings these days.

"The nanny has no problems watching Daisy late on Friday night, I was thinking Italian, and a movie?"

"Oh can't," Eggsy replied. "Just got off the line with Tilde. She needs me there Friday night."

Merlin quickly opened a file. "What is the mission parameters?"

"No mission, she needs a date to the opera. Been stuck with all these suitable mates and she wants to stab them all with a fork." Eggsy laughed. "Said I've got nothing on and happy to help her out. We'll have a real good time, even if it is the damn opera." 

Merlin was looking at him in confusion. "You have a date...with the crown princess of Sweden."

"Yeah? I guess, make it sound all formal. Just Tilde and me having fun." Eggsy shrugged. "Not going to say no when she needs me."

Merlin was clearly thinking. "Do you...do you plan to be being needed like this often?"

"Well you never can tell, right?"

"I...could you call her back and give her your regrets?"

"Why would I do that?" Eggsy asked confused.

"No, of course," Merlin shook his head. "Why would you do that?" He closed out his files on the screen. "If you will excuse me," he said. "I won't take up more of your time. You need to get a fitting in. Tails will probably be required."

"Hamish?" Eggsy asked, all of a sudden worried. Something had gone wrong here. Larger than it should be, for not being able to go out to dinner.

Merlin reached into his pocket and put a small box on the table. "For you," he said and left.

It took Eggsy two hours before he opened the box, scared of what might be in there. But it was just a gorgeous set of cufflinks. They would be brilliant for the opera he thought.

**************************

"You are distracted tonight," Tilde said during intermission. "Not your favourite opera?"

"Who has a favourite opera?" Eggsy countered.

"I do," she said and smiled when he winced. "But you are not with me tonight." She touched his cheek lightly and he leaned into it. "Where are you?"

"Things are a bit odd at home and I can't sort them out," Eggsy admitted.

Tilde looked at him. "Fuck the opera," she said. "Come on." They went downstairs to the bar and she asked for two martinis. She ignored the lights flicking for them to return to their seats and waved off the usher. "Now you have me and this bartender. We will solve your woes, won't we?" she smiled at the bartender.

"Of course, Your Highness," the bartender agreed.

"My...coworker and friend seemed right pissed I came here to go to the opera with you," Eggsy said. "Only he likes you tons, so I can't understand why he would be so mad."

"He likes you," the bartender said immediately. "And is jealous."

"No," Eggsy made a face. "Nu-uh." He thought about it. "Why would he be jealous, it's just Tilde." He rolled his eyes when Tilde and the bartender looked at him. "You know you are aces, but this isn't romantic. He knows that."

"Does he?" Tilde asked. "Did you tell him this was platonic?"

"He knows that. I mean he asked how often this would happen?" Eggsy paused. "He...the question was weird. Like he could somehow handle it, if it was very occasional? Like he could...endure. He and I we're champion endurers, but don't know what he was thinking he was enduring."

"You stepping out on him," the bartender said. "He was finding out how much you'd be still playing the field."

"There's nothing to step out on," Eggsy protested. "We're best friends, and sure I love him but that don't mean anything."

"Did you hit your head a lot recently?" Tilde asked.

"No?"

"Well you are about to," Tilde said and smacked him lightly. "The bartender is right."

"Thank you ma'am," he said.

"We aren't together. He doesn't feel like that about me," Eggsy said. "No one ever feels that way about me. No one wants to stay with me."

Tilde sighed. "Step back, Eggsy. He clearly thought he had a right to be upset that you would go on a date with me. Has anything changed to suggest he might have a reason to think that?"

"We were maybe flirting, maybe moving towards something," Eggsy said softly. "And we went to Kentucky to get closure on some issues and we sorta did, though it was a whole fucking mess. And we came home. We went to our spot on the roof and we joked about how funny it would be if we loved each other." Eggsy shrugged. "I guess things changed after that? He started to bring me gifts? And just...my sister, she all of a sudden starting call him Da and he was all sure, of course. Like we were a unit." Eggsy looked at his wrists. "Last gift he gave me were these." He moved his wrist a little and blinked when the dark stones caught the light and the middle had almost a star in them. "Wow, didn't know they did that."

The bartender coughed and then started to adjust the bottles.

"What?" Eggsy asked.

"Star sapphires, I'm getting a degree in rocks," he said. "They mean wisdom, virtue, and good fortune for royals. If they were meant to be an engagement gift...they mean faithfulness and sincerity." 

"They weren't an engagement gift," Eggsy said. He looked between the two of them. "Tell me they weren't."

"I can't do that, because I don't know," Tilde said. "But it seems he thinks you might be a couple and these have all been courting gifts."

"Why would he think that?"

"Because you are repressed British fools who use sarcasm for sincerity?" the bartender asked. At this point he had poured himself a drink and them another. "You joked about being in love, and he decided that was the two of you declaring it. And he didn't give you any gifts before?" Eggsy shook his head no. "So he was doing a little after the fact."

"He said that," Eggsy replied, "he said after the fact." Eggsy stared at the cufflinks. "Why would he think I would step out on him though? Why would he consider being ok with that?"

"He is a scent dead beta," Tilde looked at him. "I would imagine he's long believed no one would want to bond with him."

"I don't want to bond with him," Eggsy said.

"Kinda proving the princess's point there," the bartender pointed out.

"Bonding...I used to want it, because that is what we expect yeah? But a bond killed my mum, and it makes people so beholden to another by chemistry and biology. I just want to be beholden to him because I choose it, because I promise it." Eggsy scrubbed a face over his hand. "I don't want a formal bonding."

"What do you want?" Tilde asked.

"Him. Us. Just with sex," Eggsy replied. "Because fucking hell I want to shag that man. He is so hot and built and tattooed and I want him to drill me to a wall."

"That's enough of that," Tilde said primly.

"We could hear a little more," the bartender suggested. "For science."

"I like you," Tilde said. "You come work for me."

"Cool," the bartender said.

Eggsy began to curse. "Oh god, oh fucking buggering shit. That fucking twat was right."

"I beg your pardon?" Tilde's voice was scathing.

"Fortune teller told me I'd turn my back on love," Eggsy said. "I had it right there and turned my back so much I fucking left the country."

"Dude, did you fuck with a fortune teller? Have you seen no horror movie ever?" The bartender was horrified.

"Yeah, I have learned that lesson," Eggsy muttered.

"You go home tomorrow, and you talk to him," Tilde said. "You can also gently mention that he could have properly said I love you and am courting you."

"That's definitely on the conversation list."

"Good, now then we have another drink to your love, and your future," Tilde said. "Forget the mix just serve the vodka straight."

"You are going to be a bitching queen," the bartender said.

"Yes, I will," Tilde agreed and they all drank to that instead.

****************************************

Eggsy got home and tore apart the estate only Merlin was nowhere to be found and left his Kingsman glasses behind, and no one was willing to activate his tracker. Eggsy went to Harry's old house but not there and he checked a couple other places and nothing. He stopped in front of a tube station and tried to think. One thought came to him, and he hoped to christ he was right. 30 minutes later he was walking in the Soane museum. His scent poured out relieved when he found Merlin in front of the Rake's Progress panels. He went and stood beside Merlin.

"How was your date?" Merlin asked.

"It wasn't a date," Eggsy said. "It was just helping a friend out." He looked at the art, at the fallen omega and thought of Merlin talking about choice the last time they had stood here. "Even if she wanted it to be, I chose someone else a long time ago, I just didn't realize it."

"Oh?" Merlin asked. 

"Yeah," Eggsy agreed. "And I want to choose him every day. And I want him to choose me."

"He thought he had," Merlin replied.

"As someone pointed out, British blokes not so good at being clear." Eggsy couldn't look at Merlin. "We joked on the roof. That's all it was was a joke. Wouldn't it be funny if you loved me."

"You called Daisy our girl, and I thought that meant that neither of us was joking," Merlin said. "Because I love you so very much."

"I love you too," Eggsy said. "No clue when, because we were a fucking train wreck of grief and anger and then friends and then everything? You make me feel everything. Every fucking thing in the world? I find in you." Eggsy finally turned his head and looked at Merlin. "I was so angry in Kentucky, sure you would choose Harry over me. That of course you would, who wouldn't? But you had said, you had said you choose me, that you wouldn't leave me and I didn't listen. I'm listening now. Because you aren't a liar." Eggsy looked at him. "Merlin, anyone ever completely chose you?"

"Why would they?" Merlin asked. "Scent dead, not a selling feature."

"But your smile is, and your heart, and your brain, and those abs under the jumper, and your crooked tooth, and your kind eyes." Eggsy moved so he was standing right in front of Merlin. "You were giving me courting gifts."

"I was," Merlin agreed.

"Can I return the favour? Starting with Italian and a movie?"

Merlin cupped his face. "Eggsy, my king, my heart, my hope. It is all bound up in you. Whatever part of yourself you are willing to give me, I will cherish."

"All, you can have all of me, if I get the same in return." Eggsy moved closer and stretched up a bit. Their lips met in a gentle kiss. He knew his scent was cascading out joy, and that all Merlin would smell was his shampoo. All he could smell was Merlin's aftershave. Nothing was interfering with the feel of the kiss. And that made it somehow all the better.

"Choosing each other, for however long we've got, that's the plan, yeah?" Eggsy asked when they broke apart.

Merlin pressed his forehead to Eggsy's. "Aye, my king, that is the plan."

"My Fisher King, I trust you to guide me in this."

"We'll guide each other," Merlin replied and kissed Eggsy again.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sex. because these boys deserve their smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading this roller coaster of a story.

"You heat is almost here Arthur, do I need to arrange the security measures at the comfort house?" Merlin asked, voice not betraying a hint of inflection.

Eggsy's heart broke a little at the question. "No, my boyfriend, my beloved will help me through my heat. I would prefer a more remote location though, where my sister can't accidentally walk in."

"There is a Kingsman flat currently empty that should suit your needs," Merlin said formally. "Do you consider your boyfriend capable of safeguarding you alone or would you want the situation monitored?"

"I consider my boyfriend capable of everything," Eggsy said confidently, his scent sure, and happy. "Meeting done?"

"Yes, Arthur that was the last thing that had to be discussed," Merlin replied and closed out the files. He very carefully put the clipboard down and went around the desk and pulled Eggsy up into a hard kiss. "Thank you," he whispered against Eggsy's mouth.

"We said, we always choose each other yeah?" Eggsy said.

"Biology, you need an alpha scent," Merlin replied.

"Nope, talked with the doctor who did an insane amount of research," Eggsy explained, "it can help, ease the pain for some. For some. Turns out all about the knot, the scent can help but as long as you are fast and good with the toys, I won't be hurting. And not being with you? That would hurt the most."

"Did the doctor research the best toys for our situation as well?" 

"Got a little, wanna go do some shopping?" Eggsy wiggled his eyebrows. "Bonus points if you find us a skeevy toy shop."

"They sell them at the pharmacy next to the condoms."

Eggsy loved his practical boyfriend. "Bruv, find us a shady shop."

"Ahh, ambiance," Merlin nodded.

"I fucking love you," Eggsy said.

**************************************

"This? This is definitely shady," Eggsy said staring at the shop. "It looks like walking Hep B."

"It took a lot of work to find a shop where the selling review was  _don't actually touch anything in the shop, if Darla is working she'll give you a discount for some weed, and entertainment is really cheap but they don't give lube for free_." Merlin shuddered a little. "The things you go for love." He went over took a few deep breaths and went to open the door.

"Oh god, you'd actually go into that hell hole for me," Eggsy began to laugh. "Oh god, I didn't think you'd actually go this far." He was bent over laughing. "Bought what we needed from Marks and Sparks two days ago."

Merlin let the door close and stared at Eggsy. "One day. One day I will have my revenge on you. I have weed in my pocket, Eggsy."

"Wait why?"

"A discount is a discount." They both hear footsteps and see a beat cop in the distance, they don't think they just take off running, Merlin dumping the drugs a couple blocks away.

"You are the best," Eggsy said when they were on the tube.

"I hate you," Merlin replied but he was holding Eggsy's hand the whole time.

***************************************

It was a nice flat, elegant. Most importantly it had a giant bed. A giant bed Merlin would be fucking him on. Not that Merlin hadn't been fucking him a lot since they had gotten together, but this was different. And he didn't have to worry about being quiet because Daisy wasn't right next door. He walked around. He really liked the three bedroom flat. And he was getting tired of living out at the estate. Maybe after they could talk about the space or another Kingsman property. More for Daisy to do in London, let them not live at work. Something to consider. After they fixed this itch under his skin that was starting to crawl.

Eggsy decided to have a shower. He stood under the spray and had a quick wank, hoping it would take the edge off, but it only made him hungrier. He needed Merlin. He got out of the shower and barely dried off, went back to the bedroom naked. Merlin was in there, with a bloody checklist, marking things off as he looked around the room. It was the cutest, most romantic thing ever.

"Hamish, just fuck me," Eggsy said. He was already getting hard again. "You before we have to switch to the toys."

Merlin put down his clipboard and went over to Eggsy. "Ye are so beautiful lad."

"Roxy says I look like an anime hero."

"I thought they had odd hair?" Merlin replied.

"We'll watch some, I can think of a couple you might like." Eggsy pulled him into a kiss. It wasn't desperate, not like it would be later that night or tomorrow. Right now it was just soft and welcoming. They wrapped their arms around each other and snogged and Merlin started to drag his fingers up and down Eggsy's spine knowing how sensitive it was. "More," Eggsy said. Merlin kept kissing his mouth and jaw and never went for his scent gland, even though Eggsy was just pouring out scent, his body trying to entice a mate. Merlin gently picked him up and put him on the bed and they kissed some more and Merlin started to work his way down Eggsy's body, and began to suck his cock. "Fuck, babe," Eggsy groaned.

Merlin didn't respond, rather busy, focused on bobbing his head up and down for a little bit. When he pulled off Eggsy was about to say something only Merlin started to lick at the slick pouring from his hole and Eggsy lost the ability to form words. "Saskfjdalkfgjadhgadjf," was what came out. It almost hurt he was growing so sensitive but it was the best pain ever. After a couple minutes, he used his foot to nudge Merlin away and then rolled them so he was on top. He touched his hole, pumping fingers in to cover them in slick and began to jerk Merlin off. 

"Eggsy, my lad, my gorgeous lad," Merlin sighed and was lifting his hip up, pushing his cock into Eggsy's hand.

Eggsy realized that Merlin wouldn't be saying what he was used to hearing during heat sex. In that moment Eggsy realized how different this was going to be. He moved to line up with Merlin and sank down on his hard length. He loved the feel of Merlin in him. He reached out and linked their fingers and started moving up and down, slowly, never taking his eyes off of Merlin. "I get mouthy during heat sex," Eggsy said. "Sorry for what I'll end up saying."

"I can handle it," Merlin replied. He planted his feet to give himself a bit better thrust and met every roll of Eggsy's hips. "I bet it's cute."

Eggsy let go of his hand to twist one of Merlin's nipples hard. He smiled when Merlin cursed. "Not cute, totally sexy."

"Of course," Merlin agreed and wrapped his hands around Eggsy's hips and started to guide Eggsy's movement a little more. "I look forward to it."

"I know you got me," Eggsy said softly.

"I do," Merlin replied. They were quiet after that focused on the moment, the sensations between them, knowing it was the last time Eggsy would be coherent for the next day or two. Eggsy stroked his cock and soon spilled over Merlin's stomach and Merlin's orgasm chased his. They lay down next to each other just watching each other for a few quiet moments. Eggsy was sure Merlin would say something incredibly profound, Merlin was clever like that.

"The inflatable knot dildo is fun to play with, but I over inflated it and blew it up. The pharmacy around the corner will be delivering another one."

Eggsy pulled him in for a kiss. He didn't know you could find a heat funny. He liked it.

The next couple days were a blur, there was pain and sweat and comfort. Merlin's voice was there all the time, relaxing him, making him feel good and if the toys weren't quite the same as an alpha cock they were good enough, because it was Merlin. At one point he was pretty sure Merlin's fist was in him. Another he could have sworn he heard Merlin say "I love black forest cake," which fuck knew why that stood out. He knew he had been given a couple baths and been utterly taken care of.

He woke up feeling clearer than he had, a knot plug in his arse, and Merlin wrapped around him, his nose buried right on Eggsy's scent mark. He figured the man was asleep. "It'd be cool if you could smell me."

"Chocolate and cherries, told ye I love black forest cake."

Eggsy's eyes popped open and he rolled over. "Oh god, did my heat fuck scent back into you? Is this a shagging miracle?" Eggsy looked at Merlin. "We need to call the doctor. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

Merlin laughed. "Eggsy, no we don't," he kissed Eggsy's nose. "God we both smell rank."

"Because you can smell me!"

"No because I can smell sweat and come, and the spilled protein shake I forced on you." Merlin gave him another kiss. "We need a shower."

"You scented me!" Eggsy shouted. "Does this mean we can bond. Oh god, I don't want to bond. I'm sorry, I love you, forever and all that but I don't want to bond."

"Eggsy, calm," Merlin soothed. "Eggsy I cannae smell your scent."

"You just did!" Eggsy poked him in the chest. "What the hell?"

"Eggsy, legally scent dead is like legally blind there are degrees. I am at perhaps 5% scent capable which means I cannae smell an alpha or omega in normal situations. But if I have my nose buried in the scent glad or crotch of an in heat omega for 48 hours, yes I will be able to smell their natural scent. It won't linger, it doesn't mean on the average day I will scent you."

"But a couple times a year, you'll be flooded with it," Eggsy said.

"Aye," Merlin agreed.

"Okay," Eggsy said. "Okay, I get that. So not a shagging miracle."

"Trust me your arse is a miracle but not in the way you are meaning," Merlin grinned. "Now shower."

They went and showered and then Eggsy needed another fuck. After that though, he needed food and they changed the bedding. "Hey Merlin?"

"Hmm?"

"I like this flat," Eggsy said. "It's available right?"

"It is," Merlin agreed.

"Think it would suit the three of us?"

Merlin looked around the space. "Aye, it could suit the three of us very well. It is nae far from the Natural History Museum for Daisy and I to look at dinosaurs."

"Proximity to dinosaurs is super important," Eggsy agreed. 

"I'll fill out the paperwork for it," Merlin said. He reached into one of his bags. "I also have these," he paused and was clearly nervous. "Since we aren't bonding in the traditional sense. I thought...rings?" He held out the box.

Eggsy opened it and saw the simple bands. He slid the slightly smaller one on. "No lasers built in?" he teased.

"No, just metal," Merlin replied. "Simple. Nothing much."

"It's everything," Eggsy said. He waited for Merlin to put on the matching one. "Do we have to change your name to Guinevere now?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I am fine with what I have," he said. 

"You'd make a pretty Guinevere, get you a crown."

"Eggsy," Merlin shook his head.

"No, it would be totally great."

"Wouldn't I have to shag Lancelot at some point? Because Roxy is a fine lass, but really doesn't do it for me."

"Nah the french added that in, she was lovely in the Welsh tales. Bloody french," Eggsy said. "Get you a chatelaine."

Merlin tackled him on the bed and spent the next hour convincing him that the title fisher king remained adequate. 


End file.
